ASA: GLaDOS's Story
by E1craZ4life
Summary: Caroline has never had a happy day in her life. And her pipe dream of revenge on her father unwittingly leads her to immortality. But with the destruction of Black Mesa, She could finally have achieved happiness if not for the events which led to Her robotic existence in the first place.
1. Chapter A1

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A  
**Chapter One

* * *

I was born on May 11, 1925 as Caroline Isabelle Breen to a wealthy family on the outskirts of Clayton, New Mexico. I was the oldest of four children, with my siblings being from oldest to youngest: David, Sonya, and Wallace. My father treated me like a brick, and Wallace was pampered like a prince. David and Sonya were raised just as kids should be raised, and they tried to help me with my struggles as much as they could.

My childhood was fraught with locked antlers with my father, mostly from antics brought about by Wallace. My lifelong dream was to be an opera singer, but my father insisted that I pursue a career in medicine. My mother was willing to help me pursue my wishes for the operatic stage, but my father did tend to intimidate her out of doing so.

My life changed forever at the start of 1942. My mother was attacked by a bandit who stole her car after throwing her off a cliff. She only lived long enough for us to find her and for her to give me a Christmas gift: a red neckerchief with a poem written in Italian. (Anche se ho preso i corsi di Italiano a scuola, che non è mai stata una forza del mio.) The bandit was never identified, and after my mother's death, my father tried to force me into training as an army nurse to fight in World War II.

I decided that there was only one thing I could do. I decided to run away from home and start a new life somewhere else. I fled inside a railroad car with only one set of clothes, a sack of potatoes, Father's pocketknife and cigarette lighter, and my red neckerchief.

* * *

I stayed hidden in the boxcar for seven days and seven nights. I had nothing with which to track the exact time; I kept track of night and day through a knothole in the door and scribed tallies on the side wall with the pocketknife.

Finally, on the seventh day, my boxcar was opened, and I was spotted.

"Well... what do we have here? Looks like there's a hobo on this train!"

"Oh... spud." I jumped out of the boxcar and ran as fast as I could into the nearby city.

The man who had found me on the train didn't follow me into the city, but as I was scouting said city for shelter, I could hear police sirens echoing through the streets. I hid inside a dumpster when a police car passed by an alley through which I was walking, and a message on his radio strongly suggested that the man from the train had probably called the police to look for me.

"_Attention all units: be on the lookout. A railroad employee has reported a young female stowing away on his train, who is now hiding somewhere in the city. She has been described as white, in her late teens, approximately 5 feet 3 inches, and wearing a potato sack as a dress and a red neckerchief on her neck. If spotted, pursue and detain._"

I could hear my heart racing as the police car drove off. I had to find a way to avoid being captured. But as I sat in the dumpster, I started wondering how I was going to survive in this city. I had no idea where the hell I was, the police were after me, anyone who saw me could call the police on me, and there were scant resources on which to dwell.

It took several minutes of pondering to decide that anything that happened next would be better than returning home, even if it meant going to jail despite being on the edge of 17.

So, I climbed out of the dumpster, walked out of the alley, and wondered into the night street, pondering whether I should rob a bank as a means of getting jail time here.

I didn't get too far into my thought process before a car ran into me.


	2. Chapter A2

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A  
**Chapter Two

* * *

I wasn't sure if I was lucky or unfortunate to be still alive after the car hit me. I had been thrown up against the windshield, and when the car screeched to a halt, I had fallen back down the hood. I was still conscious, but I was having difficulty moving and breathing.

The man got out of the car and stepped around front where I was. He checked the front of his car, and then he looked around for a moment before saying to himself, "Okay, I can hide this easily."

He opened the passenger side door, picked me up by the shoulders, and dragged me into the car, placing me into the seat and buckling me in before taking a large plastic sheet and placing it on top of me. I heard him walk back around, get back behind the wheel, and drive off.

Several minutes passed, and the car came to a stop followed by the driver talking to someone else.

"Welcome back, boss. How was the advertising seminar?"

"Ah, just another day at the office. Can't wait to see our next customers."

"Alright. You have a nice day."

"Sure thing."

The car started driving again, and soon the car stopped again, and I could hear the car doors opening and closing. The plastic sheet that was covering me was whisked off, and I saw that the car was parked in front of a building. It was still night, and no other cars were in the parking lot. The driver of this car was standing outside next to me.

He looked to be about six feet tall with neatly combed black hair and sparkling hazel eyes. He had on a very expensive suit, which almost blended in with the dimly lit pavement of the parking lot.

I was able to reach for my seat belt buckle and unfasten it, after which I struggled to hoist myself out of the car. The driver held out his hand, and I steadied myself against him.

"You alright there?"

"Yeah... I think so. Where am I?"

He paused as he assessed my attire. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, I'm not. I ran away from home last week, and I have no idea where I am."

"Well, right now, we're in Cleveland, Ohio." He seemed pretty laid back for someone talking to a girl who was half a country away from home and had had a run in with his car.

"Does that mean you're going to call the police on me?"

He gave a laugh loud enough to rival a dog bark from another yard. "Not if you don't want me to."

"Well, I don't have anything with me except this potato sack and neckerchief, and I don't have anywhere to go."

"Hm. Well, tell you what; if you want, I can let you stay here and take care of whatever you need me to. How's that sound?"

I toyed with the idea for a moment. "I guess it's a better option than going to jail. I'll stay if you tell me what this place is and who you are."

"Alright. I'm Cave Johnson, founder and CEO of Aperture Fixtures, the best damn shower curtain business in the country."

"It's good to meet you." Tension started to relieve with this man. "I'm Caroline Breen." We shook hands before a thought crossed my mind. "Um, do you think you could keep me away from the police? I don't want them to find me and take me back home."

He gave a light chuckle. "Girl, please; keeping police at bay is my specialty. Now, how about a quick tour of the place?"

I didn't know whether to be thankful or worried about him being skilled with dodging police, but I agreed to the offer of a tour. "Okay."


	3. Chapter A3

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Three

* * *

Mr. Johnson escorted me to an observation room overlooking an assembly line.

"So, Mr. Johnson, what led you to making and selling shower curtains?"

As we spoke, a large machine melted ingredients together in a furnace at the head of a conveyor belt.

"Well, Caroline, ever since 1933 when I was 13 years old, I made it my life's ambition to make and sell shower curtains." An extruder created a long ribbon of thin plastic, which passed through a cooling drum. "I drew much of my inspiration from my father."

The plastic was sliced into large squares. "Was he a salesman?"

One of the squares came up to a machine which punched several holes along one edge. "No, he wasn't a salesman; just a simple farmer. Or, a professor of farming at the local farm college; he never farmed a day in his life."

I just had to laugh. "Oh, Mr. Johnson!"

"But his theories on farming are the backbone of this company:" Another machine placed plastic rings in the holes.

"Do it from scratch!" The next machine placed hooks in the ringed holes.

"Spare no expense!" A hot stamp branded the company logo on the curtain.

"And _never_ cut corners!" The curtain entered a machine which sliced off all four corners. "Well, that's a corner-cutting machine; we obviously cut them there."

I let off a light laugh.

"The point is that we always do things the way my father did." The curtain was sprinkled with talcum powder before being spooled onto a rod and slid into a cardboard box. "And his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him."

"Well, those are some fine principles by which to work, Mr. Johnson."

"Indeed. Now, as I'm sure you can figure out, an operation like this requires a lot of work for a company president. We've only been in operation for about eight months, and I still need an assistant. I can hook you up here with a job and anything else you need. If you can prove yourself worthy, I might just get you promoted to my assistant in due time."

I don't know if I was really lucky to meet Mr. Johnson on that day, or someone had arranged for this to happen, or if I was being set up for something. But I decided to take what I could, and I accepted Mr. Johnson's offer. "I'll take the job, and I'll see if I can make it to the rank of being your assistant."

"Oh, I'm sure you will, Caroline."

* * *

Mr. Johnson made good on his promise to keep me sheltered from the police. To make sure I would never be found out, he erased my last name from the database. I was receiving promotions at an unusual rate, more frequently than anyone else. A year after I was hired, he was awarded the Shower Curtain Salesman award of 1943.

By January 5, 1944, Mr. Johnson had amassed a billionaire fortune, and I had been promoted to his assistant. The two of us were now trying to decide what to do with the enormous fortune we had accrued.

Mr. Johnson was the first to propose an idea. "I heard there's a salt mine in Upper Michigan that's up for sale. We could set up an establishment there."

"Yeah, we could. Any idea what its purpose would be, Mr. Johnson?"

He pondered for a moment or two. "Well, I got nothing."

But I did. "I might have something?"

"Yeah, what?"

"My brother, Wallace, had dreams of becoming a scientist when he grew up. My father (with whom I had a troubled relationship) at one point had suggested setting up a science research facility through his wealth, his connection with Wallace, and his connections with the US government. I'm thinking we should set up a science research facility in the salt mine, and maybe I can outdo my father and/or my brother."

"Hm. Yeah, nothing like experiencing a triumph over bad memories. We'll head up there tomorrow and see what we can do."

"Sounds like a plan."


	4. Chapter A4

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Four

* * *

We arrived at the salt mine and were greeted by a small crowd of men and women wearing business attire. Mr. Johnson and I approached them, and they acknowledged our presence.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Cave Johnson, and this is my assistant, Caroline."

One of the men shook our hands. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you two. I'm Clark Reeves."

I gave him a pleasant smile. "So, do you know who will be overseeing the sale?"

"I'll be showing people around the mine, and if they decide to buy it, I'll send them to my boss, Mr. Brunswick."

"Okay." Mr. Johnson let off an energetic breath of air. "Let's see what this old puppy's got in store for us."

Mr. Reeves chuckled. "Well, so far, everyone who has stopped by here turned down the sale after being showed around the place. We might get lucky with you two, but I wouldn't hold my breath to that."

"The sooner we get through, the sooner we'll know." I brushed a lock of hair out of my face. "Shall we begin?"

"Very well. Follow me." He motioned us to a large wooden shack. "The elevator's in here."

* * *

As we rode the elevator, Mr. Reeves explained the history of the mine to us. It had opened in 1875 and operated for 30 years until it was shut down for violating a new slew of work safety regulations. It reopened after upgrading to the new policies until all the salt that could be mined was mined. The company decided to sell the mine tunnels and search for another location.

As few companies had use for a large network of tunnels that reached close to the bottom of the Earth's crust, nobody had tried to buy it before us. A movie company did consider using it to make a movie, but the sheer quantity of tunnels made the mine impractical for their plans.

But as we were shown around the labyrinth of tunnels, Mr. Johnson slowly became cemented to the belief that the abandoned mine would be perfect for my proposition of a science research company. It covered a lot of ground for any experiments that we could foresee, and its depth would easily hide whatever happened within, be it controversial research or anyone on the run from the law.

Of course, Mr. Johnson never made his true intentions known to anyone except me, and I was perfectly fine with it. After the tour and our meeting with Mr. Brunswick, we were able to buy the mine for $10,000. It was a really cheap deal because of how many previous companies had declined to buy it. The purchase made front-page news.

* * *

We hired a team of construction engineers to start construction on the new business we were about to launch. I took to learning as much as I could about science while Mr. Johnson started recruiting personnel. Most of them were college dropouts who had been pursuing degrees in science and/or medicine, as Mr. Johnson thought much of what colleges taught was useless.

Three years passed, and Aperture Science Innovators was finally opened for business on July 17, 1947. We were awarded the Best New Science Company Award from the Science and Business Institute of America that same year.

In 1949, we were ranked #2 among the Top 100 Applied Science Companies by the Mechanical Engineering World Journal. Naturally, since we were second place, I wanted to know who was in first place.

It didn't take too long to find the answer: the Black Mesa Research Facility in New Mexico. My suspicions were confirmed when I found that my father was its founder and administrator. The company's wide range of awards led Mr. Johnson to lock Aperture in a tight rivalry, struggling to beat Black Mesa at their own game. But not only did they outdo us in more ways than we could count, they didn't even know we existed.


	5. Chapter A5

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Five

* * *

"Good morning, Caroline." The guard smiled at me as I drove the limousine up to the gate. "How did the venture go last night?"

I gave a soft laugh as I presented my clearance badge. "Another day on the job."

"Well, that's good." The gate opened up in front of the limousine. "Have a good one."

"You, too." And with that, I drove into the parking lot, where the facility entrance awaited.

I was in good spirits. The date was November 12, 1958, and the last test shaft had been completed a month ago. Mr. Johnson and I had drafted up subjects to partake in testing various products which we had planned for the public.

The limousine was parked next to a medium-sized metal shed, and I escorted the passengers from the limousine into the shed, which was really an elevator entrance. The elevator had a capacity of 36 people, so the group of 24 (myself included) were able to fit inside.

"Alright, everyone get a sturdy grip on something, because this is going to be a fast ride to the bottom."

Everyone grabbed on to a number of posts inside the elevator as I shut the door and activated the elevator to head for the bottom floor.

The elevator whizzed down the shaft at an increasingly fast pace. The lighting in the elevator was poor, but none of us needed to see the look on each other's faces to know what we were thinking.

"How long will this thing take to reach our destination?"

"Assuming no one calls the elevator on any of the other floors, the trip should take two minutes."

The elevator continue to slide down the shaft until slowing to a stop at the bottom floor. There was a loud hiss as the doors opened, and as we stepped out onto the catwalk, spotlights in the large room lit up the company sign suspended above the catwalk ahead of us.

Mr. Johnson was at the other end, holding a bullhorn to his mouth. It was a special type of bullhorn which recorded any and all sounds it picked up for future playback. So far, only two such models existed of it, I myself being in possession of the other one.

"Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Science!" Mr. Johnson welcomed us. "Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians, you're here because we want the best, and you are it! So, who's ready to make some science?"

I brought my bullhorn to my face. "I am!"

Mr. Johnson laughed. "Now, you've already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself: I'm Cave Johnson, I own the place. That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant." I waved to the group. "Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson!"

"She's the backbone of this facility; pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas; she's married. To science!"

We all enjoyed a good, hearty laugh before heading down the catwalk to meet up with Mr. Johnson.

* * *

The lobby was buzzing with activity as receptionists were busy taking calls and using typewriters, future testers talking amongst each other in the waiting room, and scientists briefing said testers on their assignments. They paid little attention to Mr. Johnson as he got on his bullhorn.

"There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our Enrichment Spheres; I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these prerecorded messages will cover any questions you might have and respond to any incidents which may occur in the course of your science adventure. Your test assignment will vary depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will." The newly arrived testers joined those who were already present.

"Those of you helping us test the Repulsion Gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor." Eight testers did so, waiting outside the elevator at the end of it.

"Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA," he examined a note a scientist gave him, "I've got some good news and some bad news." Several testers looked to each other with unease.

"Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely." They all sighed with relief. "Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men." They seemed somewhat surprised. "Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts."

As they armed themselves and headed off, Mr. Johnson and I met up with the Repulsion Gel team at the elevator. Everyone piled on, and I started the elevator to take them up to the catwalk leading to the Repulsion Gel testing area.

"Okay, I need everyone to wait here, while I gather up the necessary supplies and get the area ready for the test. Everyone got that?"

Various answers of approval reached my ears, and I walked down the catwalk to talk to get the necessary supplies.

* * *

As I left to get the supplies and start up the gel pumps, I noticed three test subjects each entering their own door on a stretch of catwalk leading away from the engine room. As they entered, I could hear a message which Mr. Johnson had recorded coming from each of them.

"If you cut yourself at all in the course of these tests, you might notice that your blood is pure gasoline. That's normal; we'll be shooting you with an invisible laser that's supposed to turn blood into gasoline, so all that means is it's working."

"If you need to go to the bathroom after this next series of tests, please let a test associate know, because in all likelihood, whatever comes out of you is going to be coal. Only temporary, so do not worry; if it persists for a week, though, start worrying and come see us, because that's not supposed to happen."

"Just a heads-up: we're going to have a superconductor turned up full-blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks; no idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best case scenario: you might get some superpowers. Worst case: some tumors which we'll cut out."

I did find it curious that none of those test subjects tried to turn around and walk away after hearing those messages, but I shook it off and headed to the engine room to get the gel pumps up and running.

The gel pump station was tended to by about a dozen personnel; some were monitoring computers and controls, while four more people were observing from a catwalk above. I gave the all clear to start pumping the gel into the Enrichment Spheres, and I was provided with a prototype of our latest invention: the Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device.

With the system up and running, and the proper apparatus to navigate through the testing area, I returned to the crowd of testers, who then started on their way to the elevator into the testing area.

One of the testers took possession of the Device as Mr. Johnson got on the bullhorn. "They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here; at Aperture, we do all our science from scratch; no hand-holding."

It was difficult, but we were able to squeeze all ten of us - eight testers, myself, and Mr. Johnson - and the Device into the elevator, which sealed us inside and rose up into the Enrichment Sphere.


	6. Chapter A6

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A  
**Chapter Six

* * *

The elevator pulled up to the entrance, and lights began to flicker on until the interior was filled with light. We all squeezed out of the elevator, and Mr. Johnson got on his bullhorn.

"Alright, let's get started! This first test involves something the lab boys call Repulsion Gel." He flashed a tin of Repulsion Gel in front of us. "You're not part of the control group, by the way; you get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint!" He didn't hesitate to laugh. "All joking aside, that did happen; broke every bone in his legs. Tragic. But informative! Or, so I'm told."

As the testers made their way into the chamber, Mr. Johnson headed off to an observation room overlooking the chamber. I stayed with the group to help them understand the test.

We entered the chamber, and I shut the door behind us. Once that was done, one of the testers looked to me. "So, what is Repulsion Gel, Miss...?"

"Oh, you can just call me Caroline; that's fine."

"Okay."

"Anyway, Repulsion Gel is something we've been working on as a dietary pudding substitute. It's a sweeter, slightly less non-toxic liquid form of fiberglass insulation. What we're hoping will happen is that after it is eaten, it will cause subsequently ingested food items to bounce off the lining of a dieter's distended stomach and back out his or her mouth."

"Wait-" another tester seemed unsettled, "-are you saying we're supposed to eat it?"

"No, no, that's not what we're testing right now; what we're doing is testing its bouncing capabilities. We also decided to utilize testing of our Quantum Tunneling Device in conjunction with the Repulsion Gel tests."

"Okay. So, where is the Gel, then?"

"We've painted the pit below with the Gel. All you need to do is jump into the pit, and it should bounce you to the other side. Who wants to go first?"

Everyone seemed hesitant to go. "What about what the boss said about breaking legs on blue paint?"

"He did say you weren't part of the control group, so you'll be getting the Gel. A helpful tip is to land on your toes as if you're wearing high heels; that way, you'll have some form of shock absorption if you don't bounce back out."

The tester with the Device stood at the back. "I'll go last to make sure this thing doesn't break."

"Good idea. I'll explain how it works once we reach the other side."

One subject decided to have a go at jumping the pit, and the Repulsion Gel successfully bounced him across the pit to the other side. The rest were quick to follow. As soon as I was the last person at the entrance, they were stuck on what to do next.

I was ready to explain the Device to them. "Okay. This is where you'll need the Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device. The tunnel ends are able to be laid down upon white surfaces like the one next to you. Just aim the hose where you want the tunnel end to be, and press down one of the triggers. The top one will fire a green portal, and the bottom one will fire a pink portal."

The tester armed with the Device pointed it at the cement block next to him.

"And be careful; we don't know how strong the recoil is, so be sure to firmly grasp it."

Everyone braced for a strong recoil, and the handler pulled the top trigger. He seemed thrown back slightly, but he managed to stand his ground. "Now what?"

"There should be another cement block on the platform above us." I pointed in the appropriate direction. "You might need to back up slightly to get a good shot."

"I got it." He pointed the hose up and fired. The other end of the tunnel opened upon it.

"Alright. Now, you should be able to walk through it like a door. Only one person at a time can use the quantum tunnel, or else there will be a jam."

One tester went through, and there was an immediate reaction. "Whoa, that was cool! Check out the view from up here!" I could see him from below, and he pointed across the pit. "Is that the exit?"

"Yes, it is. You'll need something to hold down the button that opens the door to get out. The button won't shift under anyone's body weight, and it's too small to accommodate more than one person."

"So, what do we do?"

"You'll need to bounce across the pit to the exit door, and there should be a button that you can press." He traversed the gap, and pressed the button that was by the door. That's when a vent opened up above the patch of Repulsion Gel, dropping a Weighted Storage Cube, which bounced close by the testers.

"You can use that to hold down the button; it weighs in about 350 pounds, so it may take two people to move it."

Two subjects surrounded the Cube and reached under opposite edges. "One two three **lift!**" Their combined strength was enough to pick up the Cube, and they brought it through the tunnel onto the button, dropping it with a crunching thud.

"Try to set it down gently next time. I'll meet you all at the exit." I headed back out the entrance and followed the catwalk to where Mr. Johnson was talking to a group of scientists.

"I'm saying that your mentioning the control group can compromise the testers' willingness to go through the tests."

"I did it as a confidence booster. Besides," Mr. Johnson flashed his bullhorn, "I got this to provide them instructions as necessary."

"Okay, but using it to make prerecorded messages is unnecessary; after all, no one's going to be listening to them after you record them."

I popped into the office. "Sir? They're almost at the exit."

"Okay. Thanks, Caroline." We made our way to the exit catwalk.

Once there, the testers were on the catwalk, perturbed by what they had walked through seconds ago. "What's that?"

I was quick to answer him. "What, the incandescent particle field?"

"Yeah."

"It's a Material Emancipation Grill. It's designed to vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it; for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube."

The tester seemed to understand, and we proceeded to the next test while Mr. Johnson got on his bullhorn.

"The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I ought to stop making these prerecorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more prerecorded messages!" He pointed the bullhorn at the observation room we were leaving behind. "_I pay the bills here; I can talk about the control group all damn day!_"

* * *

We made it to the next test without incident, and once we were inside the chamber, Mr. Johnson was looking at some notes that he had about the chamber.

"For this next test, we put nano-particles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors." He didn't seem to be taking in anything he was reading from the notes. "Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry; if you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that, too."

Mr. Johnson left us in the chamber while the testers processed what he said. "Do you understand what he was going on about, Caroline?"

"It's a hypothesis that was formulated by some of the scientists." I had a small notebook in hand with a handful of some notes I had taken. "Research has suggested that cancer is caused by faults in some cells' DNA, and some of the scientists have theorized that by introducing genetic material that is akin to one's original DNA, the cancer cells can be reverted back to normal cells. The nanobots, once inside one's system, analyze the DNA of the host, picks out the cells which don't match the DNA profile (i.e. tumors), and insert the correct genes into them."

"What about the part with the folding chairs in the lobby?"

"Oh, that. While we were building the place, we made the plan to have the whole facility powered by a set of nuclear reactor cores. A number of folding chairs were involved in their construction, and after they were built, they were kept in the lobby until we bought new furniture. I'm guessing Mr. Johnson doesn't know if all the folding chairs were removed, but I didn't see any folding chairs in the lobby, so you should be fine."

"Okay. So, where do we begin?"

"Well, first, we need to get onto the ledge above this patch of Repulsion Gel. One person first; we'll need everyone else to be on standby to catch him if he falls from a high place. Any volunteers?"

One of the subjects came forward. "I'll go."

"Alright." I turned to the test subject with the Device. "I'll need you to be ready to open the tunnels when the time comes."

The tester had bounced up to the ledge on the far side of the chamber, and turned around to look at the ledge above the entrance.

I pointed out the painted walls on the two opposing ledges. "Green tunnel here, pink tunnel there." The Device wielder complied, and the tester on the ledge passed through.

Once on the opposite ledge, he called out to us. "We're going to need something to hold the button."

"Okay, someone else join him on the ledge. Everyone else follow me to the oscillating platform."

Once the testers had followed my instructions, I ordered a green tunnel to be placed on the white ceiling panel under which the platform would pass. After the order was executed, the two subjects hopped down onto the platform, and together, they pushed the Weighted Storage Cube off the platform onto the floor below. As they carried the Cube to the Gel patch and the green tunnel was put back on the Gel ledge, I gave a word of caution.

"Make sure you're careful walking on the Gel; take slow, shuffling steps until you're up against the wall, then jump on the count of three. If you step too hard or drop the Cube on the Gel, something's going to fly and someone will get hurt."

They heeded my warning, and they safely reached the ledge with the Cube in tow. After emerging from the tunnel, they dropped the Cube on the button. But they seemed confused as to what it did.

"You two stay where you are; everyone else follow me." I led them to the middle of the room next to the Gel patch. "Alright. Now, the button has exposed a panel on which we can now place a tunnel. Place a green tunnel up there, and be ready to catch one or both of the testers if they miss the Repulsion Gel. I'll hold onto the Device while they jump so you can move around easier. Three of you stand on one side, three of you stand on the other side."

I waited for everyone to assume the positions I spelled out, and then I gave the signal that it was safe for the other two testers to proceed through the quantum tunnel. They went through, and they made it to the offset room above.

I got out my bullhorn to talk to them. "Okay, go inside, and you should see a room with Repulsion Gel painted on the walls. If you jump against one of the Gelled walls, you should be able to bounce back and forth between the walls across the pit to where there is a Weighted Storage Cube. Bring it back across the pit (you shouldn't need to bounce off the walls for the return trip) and then drop it on the button inside. Remember what I told you about jumping up to the ledge while transporting the Weighted Storage Cube."

One of the subjects spoke up. "Didn't Cave say that those bullhorns function as tape recorders or something?"

"My bullhorn only works as a tape recorder while Mr. Johnson is using his. And at the moment," I strained to see inside the observation room, "it looks like he's talking to another scientist. Anyway, when the two are done up there, there will be another panel exposing up there. When the two subjects up there come down, make sure to direct them onto the ledge above the Gel patch so you can meet with them." I gave the Device back to the tester who had had it earlier. "Make sure there's a tunnel up there before you go up, and you should be able to reach the exit. Got it?"

"Yep."

"Good. I'll be waiting at the exit." And with that, I headed back out the entrance and headed to the observation room.

* * *

When I got there, I could hear Mr. Johnson talking with the scientist.

"Well, that should shake up the Grand Unification Boys, hm?"

"That's putting it mildly; those bones practically caramelized in the Gel."

"Yeah. But, hey, as long as they don't get covered in it, they'll be fine."

"The part with them bouncing off the walls will certainly get them covered in it."

"It'll only be dangerous if it comes in contact with the skeleton, so the Gel has to get by the skin and muscles before it reaches it, and by extension be all that dangerous."

"Still, we should probably give them the results of the test that we carried out." I opened the door just in time to see the scientist hand a stapled packet to Mr. Johnson.

"Ah, hello, Caroline. Have the test subjects finished the test?"

"Not yet, sir. But they're almost done. We should probably head out to the exit catwalk to meet them when they get out of the chamber."

"Alright. Let's get going, then."

The testers were out of the chamber quickly enough, and as I escorted them to the elevator, Mr. Johnson got on his bullhorn.

"Oh, in case you got covered in that Repulsion Gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me:" He rummaged through the packet he had been given. "**Do not** get covered in the Repulsion Gel. We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does not like the human skeleton."

All of the test subjects appeared clean, and we all got into the elevator and started into the next Enrichment Sphere.


	7. Chapter A7

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Seven

* * *

The elevator stopped, and we started up the staircase into the test chamber as Mr. Johnson got onto his bullhorn.

"All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way; it keeps out the rats." He started flipping through a small notebook. "Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test; that's asbestos. Good news is the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of 44.6 years; so if you're 30 or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario: you miss out on a few rounds of Canasta. Plus, you forwarded the cause of science by 3 centuries!" He put the notepad back in his pocket. "I punch those numbers into my calculator, and it makes a happy face."

I laughed with several of the testers. "Oh, Mr. Johnson!"

As soon as we recovered from the laughter, the testers made their way inside the chamber. Before I could follow them inside, Mr. Johnson intercepted me from going in after them.

"Uh, Caroline, I'd like to talk to you privately if I could."

I hesitated, but only for a second. "Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson."

He escorted me through a gate to a catwalk leading toward the second chamber in the Sphere. Once we were in the observation room overlooking said chamber, he locked the door behind him with us two being the only people inside.

"So, what did you want to talk about, sir?"

He sat down at the desk while I stood by the audio tape player. "Caroline, I couldn't help but notice that you had been talking the test subjects through how to solve the tests." His tone seemed to border on disapproval.

"Is that a problem, sir?"

"You said it, not me. I'm just concerned that by talking the test subjects through the tests, we might not be getting results from the tests we're doing."

"Oh?"

"I trust you're familiar with the three pillars of Aperture Science, Caroline?"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson."

"So, what are they?"

I gave a heavy sigh. "'Science without results is just witchcraft.'"

"That's one."

"'Get results or you're fired.'"

"'That's two.'"

"'If you suspect a coworker of being a witch, report him immediately.'" He waved his hand in a circle, indicating he wanted the last part. "'I cannot stress that enough; witchcraft will not be tolerated.'"

"There you go."

"I'm pretty sure we're still getting results even if the testers are being aided. After all, we're testing out the Repulsion Gel and the Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device, not creating confusing test environments."

"You know, Caroline, if we're ever going to beat Black Mesa at their own game, we can't play by their own dull rules; otherwise, we'll be just as stupid as them or even more so."

"Well, if you had listened to what I had suggested when this place was built, and designed these tests to start out simple and _then_ get progressively complex, I wouldn't need to shepherd the testers through the tests."

"I doubt we'd have that kind of space when you look at all the other experiments that are done here."

"Maybe if I were in charge, you'd see the sense in my way of logic."

The discussion was interrupted by the sound of a door being pounded in the distance.

"See, Caroline? They don't need to be talked through the tests, do they?"

"Well, they needed to take their first step, and the test track design doesn't really allow for that without an aide." I opened the door to leave, and Mr. Johnson followed me.

As we reached the catwalk overlooking the second chamber, we could see that the Device wielder had tunneled up to a pillar close by the chamber. Mr. Johnson seemed enthused as the tester then shot a tunnel end into the chamber and entered it that way.

He was quick to turn the bullhorn on him. "HA! I like your style! You make up your own rules, just like me." The tester opened the door to allow the remaining testers inside. "The bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway; ramps are expensive."

Mr. Johnson and I walked down to the entrance door and shut it behind the testers, leaving them to find their way out of the chamber. As we arrived at the exit to wait for the testers, I noticed something concerning.

"Mr. Johnson, don't you think the testers will be in for a hard landing when they reach the exit?"

"Hmm... yeah, that might be a problem."

"There's nothing here that can break their fling when they get here."

"Yeah. Well, I'm sure one of us will think of something."

"Hopefully soon; we don't know just how long it will take them to figure out how to solve this and put the solution into action."

"And we'll have less time to ponder if we keep talking. So, let's start brainstorming."

"Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson."

As we started pondering on a solution, a small group of scientists entered the Enrichment Sphere through the exit.

Mr. Johnson was quick to address them. "Hey, what's happening?"

"Ah, there you are, sir. We're here to talk about the results we've collected from some tests we did on the fluorescent calcium."

"Okay, what have you got? Lay it on me."

"When the calcium is in the bloodstream, it remains in a state of small crystals. But certain brain impulses can briefly melt the crystals together, and when they re-harden, they can vitrify the affected part of the brain, particularly the frontal lobe. We brought this to the attention of one tester, and he almost instantly became paralyzed and collapsed dead on the floor. It turns out that visualizing calcium vitrifying the frontal lobe under stress will cause that exact scenario to happen."

"Okay, good to know. I'll keep that in mind. Now, if you guys could just be sure to-"

He didn't get the chance to finish, as the testers came flying in and landed in the crowd of scientists.

All of the testers survived without injury, as did the Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device. But the scientists were severely injured by the sudden influx of people landing on them. Mr. Johnson decided to call in a squad of medics to take them to the medical wing, while the testers were escorted to the elevator.

Mr. Johnson and I followed after all the testers were on the elevator, during which Mr. Johnson got on the bullhorn. "Just a heads-up: that coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. (I'm serious; visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.)"

Everyone appeared too distracted with one another to have heard what Mr. Johnson said. We got into the elevator and started for the next Sphere.


	8. Chapter A8

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A  
**Chapter Eight**  
**

* * *

I couldn't say with certainty as to whether or not there was any change in tolerance with regard to anyone in terms of riding in a crowded elevator. All I could say was that I myself was happy when we got off the elevator in the next chamber.

Mr. Johnson got out his bullhorn as well as his notepad. "Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-7, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull; most likely, you've forgotten it's even there. But, if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know; because that means it's about to hit 500 degrees, and so we're going to need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast."

There was a sense of bemusement amongst the testers, which prompted me to check my clipboard for their designations. "It doesn't appear that anyone in this group is in Control Group Kepler-7, so you should be fine. You go on through the tests, and Mr. Johnson and I will meet up with you later."

I headed off onto another catwalk, following the path which Mr. Johnson had taken.

Once again, Mr. Johnson was talking to another scientist.

"Wow. This'll surely be worthy of a Nobel prize."

"Yes, but do you realize the implications this could have?"

"I could care less about that stuff. What I want to know is what we can do with it."

"Look, we've already talked about this; we don't know for sure if we've achieved it, but if we have, it could potentially destroy all of time."

"Seems like extreme thinking, don't you think?"

"That's what we'd get for doing these kinds of experiments."

"I think we should at least figure out how we got to this point in the first place."

"Yes, we should. Then we can take steps to prevent us reaching it again."

"Or we can find a way to improve ourselves in putting it to use."

"But the consequences of this discovery can be dire."

"Come on; the worst that could happen is that the Greeks would've won World War II."

"Which in and of itself can destroy all of time."

"But that wouldn't happen just by a test subject meeting himself on the testing track."

"But the two of them making eye contact could have the same effect."

"We don't know if this will or can happen; after all, just because the possibility exists of it happening doesn't mean it will happen."

"That may be true, but they've made it through the first chamber and are on their way to this one. Now hurry up and tell them what I've told you."

The door was thrown open, and Mr. Johnson nearly ran me down as he and the scientist raced down the catwalk.

"Hurry! They're almost at the door! Hurry!"

He shoved his bullhorn in the scientist's face. "I'm telling them; keep your pants on!" He aimed it at the testers assembled between the chambers. "Alright. This next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: if you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. The lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward. So, do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business."

I stepped onto the overlooking catwalk in time to watch the testers enter the next chamber. No sooner had I come to a stop, Mr. Johnson ran into me.

"Ooh, sorry about that, Caroline. I was going to head up to the last chamber and wait for the testers there."

"Okay." We both made our way up the catwalk, and soon made it to the last chamber.

* * *

There were scientists running a quick survey of the chamber when we arrived, and I waited by the chamber entrance while Mr. Johnson talked to them. Armed with a pair of binoculars, I kept watch on the catwalk leading out the far side of the chamber below to see when the testers emerged. The discussion inside the chamber was what kept me from wandering down the catwalk to the chamber exit to wait for the testers.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if this was a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be? It's all about figuring out what this stuff can and can't do."

"I'm pretty sure someone's going to get hurt by this if it does go bouncing around."

"It'll hit the water spigot eventually, and then it'll stop bouncing."

"Yes, but it won't be possible to predict the trajectory between it getting covered in the Repulsion Gel and it reaching the water if it does get that far."

"That's why we've enlisted astronauts, war heroes, and Olympians; they have the athleticism to do these tests."

"But if they do get hit by the bouncing Cube, they could get hurt either from the Cube hitting them, being thrown into the wall, being covered in the Repulsion Gel, or a combination of the three."

"And if anything like that happens, it'll provide a learning curve for us and others to follow."

It was at that point that I saw the testers emerge from the chamber below us and start heading up the catwalk towards us. I turned my attention to Mr. Johnson. "The testers are coming!"

Mr. Johnson headed over to my position, took the binoculars, and looked for himself. "Alright." He turned to the scientists. "Okay, boys. Head up to the observation room, and Caroline and I will meet up with you once the testers show up."

The scientists clambered upstairs as Mr. Johnson and I both looked through half of the binoculars at the testers coming up to meet us, which was somewhat difficult, given that Mr. Johnson was six inches taller than me. But at the end of it all, the binoculars stayed together.

I don't know how long we had been using the binoculars, but it was long enough for Mr. Johnson's patience to wear thin. I didn't think the wait was that long, but Mr. Johnson was bothered to the point where he vented it out over the bullhorn when the testers made it to the last chamber.

"If you're hearing this, it means you're taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction. I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like projection. _They_ didn't fly into space, storm a beach, or bring back the gold; no, sir, _we_ did. It's you and me against the world, son. I like your grit. (Hustle could use some work, though.) Now, let's solve this thing!"

We left the testers to get through the chamber and met with the scientists in the observation room. I passed through to the catwalk leading to the exit to wait for the testers to finish. But as soon as Mr. Johnson entered the room, they struck up a heated talk that was audible from the chamber exit.

"Sir, I don't think you understand just how big the risks are that you're taking with these tests."

"What's science without risks? No one ever forwarded science by adhering to what was safe."

"No one ever forwarded science through pursuit with reckless abandon."

"There's a first time for everything, and that first time will have me at the middle."

The sound of glass breaking was the only point where no one was talking.

"Okay. Look in the chamber and tell me if you would want to be in there trying to catch a Weighted Storage Cube covered in Repulsion Gel and risk being crushed by the weight, being thrown into a wall, or having your bones melt from exposure to Repulsion Gel."

"If it's for science, I would sure as hell do it."

"Would you put your assistant in that situation?"

"Who, Caroline?"

"Yes, her. Would you do that?"

"You'd have to ask her if you want an answer. Besides, it looks like the cube reached the water fountain; it's not bouncing anymore."

"Actually, it looks like they used quantum tunnels to get water on the Cube to make it stop bouncing. But anyway, someone could still get hurt."

"Why? The Cube's on the button. Now, all they need to do is get in the exit and Gel the Cube to get out."

"Once they're out and the Cube resumes bouncing around the chamber, how do you suppose we get it to stop bouncing?"

"It'll stop eventually; we don't need it to stop as soon as the test is finished."

"But the Cube could cause a lot of damage to the chamber before it reaches the water fountain."

"Sheesh. Why do people like you get so worked up over the smallest things?"

"Why do people like you have little regard over dangers that can happen?"

"Just because it can happen doesn't mean it will happen."

"Yeah, but the chance does exist of something dangerous happening."

"The chance isn't 100%, now is it?"

"No, but it isn't 0% either."

"If it isn't 100%, it's best to not have to think about it."

"It still poses a real danger."

"Danger is my middle name."

"I thought it was Arnold."

"So it is. So it is."

The testers got out of the chamber and walked past me to the elevator.

"But why is so much of this science dangerous?"

That was what finally prompted Mr. Johnson to point the bullhorn in his face. "Science isn't about _why_; it's about _why not_! '_Why_ is so much of our science dangerous?'? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out? Because **YOU ARE** _**FIRED!**_"

The last word echoed resoundingly through the Sphere, prompting the testers to vocalize their confusion. "Huh?"

Mr. Johnson left the observation room and headed to the elevator. "Not you, test subjects; you're doing fine."

The deafened scientist followed him. "Me?"

"Yes, you. Box your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye."

I was the last person to enter the elevator, but we didn't leave until I spoke with the terminated scientist. "You'll have to wait for the elevator to come back down."

And with that, we were off.


	9. Chapter A9

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A  
**Chapter Nine**  
**

* * *

The elevator ground to a stop, and everyone disembarked onto the catwalk except for Mr. Johnson, who got on his bullhorn.**  
**

"Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science! As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests. We're not going to release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there will always be a limo waiting for you. Say goodbye, Caroline!"

I got out my own bullhorn. "Goodbye, Caroline!"

Mr. Johnson laughed. "She is a gem."

While Mr. Johnson headed back down to the testing area, I led the testers down to the main elevator. "Okay. Before we can let you back up to the surface, we need to take the Quantum Tunneler back downstairs. So, everyone get in the elevator, and we'll head downstairs to get it returned."

"Alright." We all piled into the elevator to return to the lobby and get the Quantum Tunneler back where I had picked it up.

Once that was done, the testers were escorted back up to the surface, where the limousine was parked. They were then driven back to the train station where I had picked them up earlier.

* * *

Within a few years, Aperture started to decline. Our products became increasingly unpopular with the public, and in 1961, the area was condemned in response to a planned investigation from many federal agencies. Then in 1968, the US Senate launched a series of hearings into missing astronauts in which we were involved. All the while, Black Mesa started marketing our products (improved to meet safety regulations) under their name. Upon further investigation, I was able to find out why.

When I found out about the Black Mesa Research Facility, I had reason to believe that my father and my brother, Wallace, had a hand in its founding. As a result, I enlisted the help of a spy to find out as much as he could about Black Mesa so I could outdo Wallace at his own game. By the time Aperture started its downturn, Wallace had been appointed as Black Mesa's administrator, and I found that our spy had been leaking Aperture secrets to Black Mesa. When I tried to get an explanation for his actions, the spy simply said that he was doing what was necessary to ensure Aperture's triumph over Black Mesa; I could never figure out how leaking secrets to one's opponent could augment one's battle position.

* * *

It was 1971, and Mr. Johnson decided that with the investigations of Aperture concluded, it would be safe to get Aperture back up and running again. As we walked from the parking lot to the entrance, I started discussing the possibility of Aperture reopening.

"Sir, I'm not entirely sure how we can do anything if we were to reopen Aperture."

"We'll just take more steps to make sure we won't get investigated by anyone."

"And how do you anticipate that will work?"

"Well, obviously, we had to appear at Senate hearings on missing astronauts, so..."

"I don't think anyone would even think to trek these grounds, given the horrid reputation the company has with the public."

"Well, it seems someone has done just that and more."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a body impression in the grass in front of the door."

"Hm." I saw something shiny in the grass, and I saw it was a pocket watch.

Mr. Johnson called the elevator, which didn't open up immediately. "And whoever left that body impression is probably inside right now."

I used the pocket watch to calculate the time it took the elevator to reach us from the time Mr. Johnson summoned it; that would indicate at which floor the intruder got off, and provide the best lead of finding out where they were and who it was.

Given that they had had a pocket watch, they probably weren't local.

The elevator reached us after 100 seconds, and I brought the elevator down to the appropriate floor based on that time. That floor was right above what used to be Test Shaft 09 where the Repulsion Gel testing had happened.

As we stepped out, armed with miner helmets, we could hear snoring coming from a corner of the cave. When we looked in the direction, we could see someone slumped against the rocks, who didn't respond to the light cast upon him.

Mr. Johnson was quick to walk up to him. "Hey! _Hey!_"

The man stirred, and as he became aware of our presence, he sprung to his feet and held a briefcase up to his chest.

He looked about six feet tall and was dressed in a suit and tie with a matching fedora over top a mess of dark hair that covered his ears. He was wearing glasses, and the skin around his blue eyes looked severely burned. It was clear that he had been taken by surprise.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing down here?" Mr. Johnson demanded.

The man swallowed hard before replying in a British voice. "I was... erm,... carrying out an... inspection of this... cave?"

I held the pocket watch in the beam of light from my helmet. "Is this yours?"

He searched his pockets for a moment. "Oh,... yes, it is. Thank you for finding it."

"It was right outside the door." I handed him the watch, and he put it in his jacket pocket. "Mind explaining why you're here, Mr...?"

"Pendleton. Wheatley Pendleton."

"Cave Johnson." He shook hands with Wheatley.

I was quick to follow suit. "Caroline Breen."

"Pleasure to meet you. Erm,... you don't... suppose I could borrow one of your torches, do you?"

I gave him my helmet. "Here you go."

"Thank you." He put on the helmet, removing the fedora as he did so. "Ah, that's better."

Mr. Johnson propped himself against the wall so he was facing Wheatley, and the two started talking while I listened.

"Alright, so, what are you doing here, Wheatley?"

"Is this Aperture Science?"

"What's left of it, yes."

"Oh." He seemed disheartened. "So, you were getting ready to take the place down, I take it?"

"Actually, we're trying to get the place back up and running."

"How do you plan to do that?"

"Well, the first thing we need to do is build a new place here."

"Hm. You're going to need some engineers for that."

"Yeah, we will. Do you know any?"

"As a matter of fact, I actually have an engineering degree from Oxford University."

"Well, that's one step forward."

"Yep. Now, in case you haven't already figured out, I'm not from around here."

"I take it you're from England?"

"Yep. I flew in from London to Toronto three years ago, and I've worked as a petrol station attendant in Windsor since then before figuring out where this place was. I found out about this place while reading about the 1968 Senate hearings on missing astronauts in the papers, and I thought I might stand a chance making a living here."

"Well, if you want to put that engineering degree to good use, look no further than here."

I shrugged. "As if he had a choice."

We all enjoyed a good laugh, interrupted by a remark from Wheatley. "I don't get it."

Resisting the urge to laugh harder, I explained. "Mr. Johnson said to look no further than here; but, being underground in a dark cave, it's difficult to look further than here."

"Ohh... gotcha." He scratched the back of his head. "So, does that mean I'm employed here?"

Mr. Johnson didn't hesitate to answer. "You can count on it, Pendleton. Find a good place to stay, and I'll have you under a paycheck before you can say 'Brand New Aperture, here we come!'!"


	10. Chapter A10

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A  
**Chapter Ten

* * *

It was February 25, 1978. Aperture had secretly reopened, and was attempting to restore itself to its former glory. But we had had to resort to hiring homeless people for testing. Having been a vagabond myself, I wasn't too pleased with the decisions Mr. Johnson was making. But as he said, beggars can't be choosers. (I ended up punching him in the throat for saying that.)

"Are we there yet?" Mr. Johnson's son was sitting in the passenger seat of the pickup truck I was driving.

"For the last time, Rick, the more you ask that question, the longer it will take for the answer to be 'yes'."

"Hey, I'm just trying to pass the time here, Carrie. This drive can easily tucker anyone to sleep."

"I'm sure the 36 people crammed in the back would beg to differ. And don't call me 'Carrie'."

"I can't believe we managed to get that many people in the back of the truck."

"It's a big truck, but it is still something worth pondering in amazement."

"Would you say rounding up all of these recruits was a walk in the park?"

"In the literal sense, it was, but not in the figurative sense."

"At least I was there to help out. I can get anything done faster than you can blink."

"Look, Rick, just because it's your 27th birthday doesn't mean you're entitled to acting like James Bond."

"Maybe, but I'm sure Daddy's got something to say about what I can do when we get back."

"We've talked about this for six years; you are not allowed to take part in the experiments we're doing."

"So, then, why do you have homeless folks doing it?"

We finally reached the shed where the entrance elevator was housed. Rick and I disembarked and herded the people out of the pickup into the elevator.

"Alright. Everyone take a deep breath and hold it." I shut the door and started the elevator to go down.

* * *

The elevator reached its destination, and everyone got out. A scientist wheeled a cart up to us, where a thick stack of papers rested.

He produced a pen and a number of papers with signature slots. "Alright. I need everyone to form a line and sign a spot on this contract."

Everyone followed his instructions, but I had to take Rick out of the line.

Once all the signatures were collected and the scientist was gone, Mr. Johnson was standing in front of us, bullhorn in hand.

"Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science. You might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented but that other people have somehow managed to steal from us." He started to advance towards us with mounting anger. "Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt-"

I grabbed him by the wrists. "Sir, the testing?"

He begrudgingly withdrew. "Right. Now, you might be asking yourself 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?'. Let me answer those questions with a question: who wants to make sixty dollars?" He fanned out six tens in his free hand like a hand of cards. "Cash." Several hands went in the air.

He gestured to the catwalk behind him to our left. "You can also feel free to relax for up to 20 minutes in the waiting room (which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you). So, welcome to Aperture; you're here because we want the best, and you're it." His face was quick to crack into a smile. "Nope, couldn't keep a straight face." He returned to his unenthusiastic cynicism. "Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related."

I led the group to the waiting room while Mr. Johnson got the testing track ready.

Everyone took seats in the waiting room, and Rick made small talk with the recent acquisition of people while I read over a letter I had found in Mr. Johnson's office the previous week.

_CONFIDENTIAL_

_October 17th, 1976_  
_Re: Human Enrichment &amp; Testing Initiative; Resource Acquisitions_

_1.) "Low Risk" Human Resource Acquisitions_

_a.) Hobos and Tram__ps:_  
_ Lives spent wandering aimlessly, cowering before authority, and drinking concussive amounts of home-distilled potato alcohol make hobos the perfect Human Enrichment test subjects. The hobo questions nothing, will follow orders if fed, and (like all hobos) has a restless, wandering heart.  
(Note: The wandering heart of the hobo should not be confused with Drifting Heart Syndrome, which several transients contracted during testing.)_

_b.) Child Orphans and Fo__undlings:_  
_ Deep-rooted abandonment__ issues leave most orphans highly susceptible to shame-based psychology. (For a complete list of opportune moments to obliterate the esteem of test subjects, please consult Training Video #89-D: "You'd Perform This Test Better if You Had Parents") Recent advances in the use of scorn, flattery used in an ironic context and naked contempt as motivational tools have yielded similarly profitable results._

_c.) Psychiatric __Patients:_  
_ Past experience__ shows these fellows are simply not shy at all about carrying on, disrupting tests, and defecating just about anywhere that pleases them. Frankly, it is off-putting, and small wonder why Aperture-brand mental institutions are being phased out in favor of more orphanages._

_d__.) Seniors:_  
_Frail, brittle hands make holding science devices difficult. Mos__t were born before the advent of science, and can become confused and disoriented when asked to participate in relatively simple tests: teleportation, invisibility, adjusting esteem levels of orphan children._

It was perturbing the way Mr. Johnson thought of other people when he wrote this. I put the letter back under the papers on my clipboard, and we waited for Mr. Johnson to beckon us to the tests.

* * *

It was about ten minutes before Mr. Johnson returned. He showed the way to the rising catwalk within view of the waiting room entrance, and everyone piled on board.

Before the gates could close, I noticed Rick was also in the group. "Rick, we've already told you that you are not going through any of these tests."

He wedged into the back end of the catwalk. "I'm going in here even if it kills me."

Mr. Johnson leaned on the railing. "That's why we don't want you testing in here, son; we don't know if you'll get out alive."

"Yeah, but I do know how to get through the tests, unlike these gents."

"All the more reason not to let you in there."

I nodded. "Yeah, that's my job."

Mr. Johnson glared at me.

"Come on; they're never going to figure it out on their own."

While the two of us were distracted, Rick swiped my bullhorn and called up to the winch operator. "We're ready to head up now!"

Before Mr. Johnson could reach his son, the gate closed and we were hoisted up to the catwalk above, the rising walkway filling in the missing gap.

The gates at both ends opened up; my end led to the supply offices and other testing areas, and Rick's end led to the Propulsion Gel tests. I headed over to the supply room, and 28 recruits followed me there. Mr. Johnson gave the remainder the order to wait for me to return.

* * *

Before I could collect the supplies for the Propulsion Gel testing, I needed to send the 29 recruits present to the other testing areas. 20 went through a tunnel leading to the other test shafts to carry out the tests set up there. The remaining nine testers followed me into the supply room.

Behind one of the cabinets in the supply room was a hall leading to four doors. I sent the recruits into the first three doors, three for each door. As they entered, a message played from a speaker next to the door.

"If you're allergic to peanuts, you might want to tell somebody now because this next test may turn your blood into peanut oil for a few minutes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they're gonna have to invent a new type of Nobel prize to give us, so hang in there."

"The average human male is about 90 percent water. As far as we're concerned, that's a little extravagant. So, if you feel a bit dehydrated in this next test, that's normal; we're gonna hit you with some jet engines and see if we can't get you down to 50 or 60 percent."

"Alright, we're working on a little teleportation experiment. Now, this doesn't work with all skin types; so, try to remember which skin is yours, and if it doesn't teleport along with you, we'll do what we can to sew you right back into it."

After they had gone through, I went in through the fourth door, which housed the drydock of a new icebreaker ship, the _Borealis_. It would take 20 years to complete, but when it was done, we'd be able to teleport anything anywhere in the universe, maybe even another dimension. (The teleporter was being tested in an adjacent room.)

The progress being made was a surprise to me; the engineers were working faster than I expected. Now, it seemed that it would only take 15 years to complete.

I saw the lead engineer on the ship's bow. "Hey! Keep up the good work, Mr. Pendleton!"

He smiled as he adjusted his glasses. "Sure thing, Miss Caroline!"

I left the room uplifted. The tone of his British voice was one of which I thought I would never grow tired.

* * *

I grabbed all the supplies I needed; 8 pairs of ankle braces and a Quantum Tunneler. The Quantum Tunneler was more compact, but the basic design was unchanged. I instructed the recruits to put on the ankle braces, and after they did so, they piled into the elevator leading to the Propulsion Gel tests.

Rick refused to be left behind, and we couldn't force him out of the crammed elevator before it closed and sent us up into the Enrichment Sphere.


	11. Chapter A11

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Eleven

* * *

The smell of rotten fish was overwhelming, but the elevator finally opened up, allowing us to resume breathing.

Mr. Johnson got on his bullhorn. "The testing area's just up ahead; the quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your 60 bucks." He looked over to me. "Uh, Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?"

I showed him the clipboard. "Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson."

He realized his bullhorn wasn't turned off, and he proceeded to do so. He left for the observation room while the testers, Rick, and I got to work on the test at hand.

Rick, who had the Quantum Tunneler, was about to start laying down portals. "Just a moment, Rick; I still need to explain what the testers need to do."

"Alright. You go right ahead, princess."

"Okay." I got out a tin of Propulsion Gel. "What we're doing here is testing out an old invention of ours called Propulsion Gel."

"What's that?"

"It was one of our attempts at creating a dietetic pudding substitute. It's a sweet, largely non-toxic liquid form of fiberglass insulation. In theory, after it was eaten, it would increase the velocity of any food that followed it through the digestive tract, leaving the body no time to absorb calories. It was pulled from shelves after it was discovered that digestion plays several crucial roles in the digestive process, such as breaking food down into small, manageable chunks before it is violently expelled from the human body."

"So, does that mean we have to eat it or not?"

"No, we don't want you to eat it."

Rick walked over. "No, we're doing figure skating with it."

"I suppose that's one word for it. Anyway, Rick, I need you to create a tunnel up to the platform above us."

"Yes, ma'am." He fired a purple tunnel on the ceiling above the platform, and a red portal on a nearby wall, barely missing my face.

"Could you try not to aim it at someone else, Rick?"

"Sorry about that."

"Okay." I walked over to the tunnel on the wall. "I need one of you to go through the tunnel, which will lead up to the platform."

There was a moment's pause before a bearded man stepped forward.

"Alright. Just sit down on the floor and put your legs through, then just slide in and be ready for a good landing."

He did as I instructed, and he landed safely, on the platform above us. As Rick repositioned the purple portal below the Propulsion Gel pipe, I turned to the tester above.

"Wait for everyone to get off the stripe on the floor, and then press the button."

He pointed to the pedestal button next to him while everyone got off the stripe on the floor. "This one?"

"Yeah, that one." I turned around to make sure everyone was clear. "Go ahead."

Upon the press of the button, Propulsion Gel cascaded across the floor, creating a slick, orange runway in the middle of the area leading up a ramp and over a pit.

"Alright, stay up there for now; I tell you when you can come down. Everyone else walk across the Gel so you can get a feel of how to walk on it."

They crossed the strip, and while they did struggle to balance themselves, nobody fell over.

Rick walked over to the tunnel entrance at the foot of the Propulsion Gel path. "Alright, I'll do all the dangerous stuff so you guys don't have to."

Everyone was emphatic to agree to his plan, and he charged up the ramp into the hallway on the other side.

Once there, he fired a purple portal on the wall next to him before aiming a bullhorn across the pit. "Okay, I'm gonna need two of you to come on through the tunnel; I'll need your help shortly."

Two men walked in, and I followed after them. Once on the other side, I realized that Rick still had my bullhorn.

"I don't remember you being issued with ankle braces, Rick."

"Oh, I swiped a pair while you were in the _Borealis_ drydock." He walked to the hallway entrance over the pit and placed a red portal under the Propulsion Gel pipe.

"Alright. You folks might want to stand clear for a bit." Once they were out of the Gel's path, he pointed my bullhorn at the tester on the platform. "Fire away!"

The tester on the platform complied, and another Propulsion Gel runway was paved.

"I'll run across, and you two can take care of the next part." He took off across another pit and landed in an isolated room.

After placing a red portal on the wall near him, he beckoned the two testers through the tunnel. I watched as the testers carried a Weighted Storage Cube through a tunnel out of a sealed area, then tunneled back to my position with the Cube in tow. Rick stayed ahead of them to make sure they didn't lose control.

We all tunneled back to the rest of the testers, and I directed the Cube to be placed on a Button on the floor, which raised the ramp higher.

"Could we have just had one person stand on the Button instead of putting a Cube on it?"

I took a deep breath. "No, that wouldn't have worked; the weight of one person wouldn't be enough to activate the button, and the Button isn't big enough for more than one person. It was designed with those objectives in mind."

"Oh, okay."

Ricked charged across the Gel and up the ramp, reaching the exit platform.

As he got to work placing the next portal, I turned to the tester above me. "You can come down now."

He hopped down as I told the group, "Alright, now, watch closely what Rick does next up there."

Rick came in through the tunnel, walked along the dry floor to the foot of the ramp, and then charged down the Gel path through the tunnel. The testers watched in awe as Rick flew straight up toward the ceiling, pressed a button up where he stopped, and fell back down before reappearing next to us.

"How did he do that."

"It's possible because of how tunnels affect forward momentum. Or to be more precise, how they don't."

"How they don't?"

Rick gestured for the testers to enter the tunnel, and they crawled through one by one, with me and Rick bringing up the rear.

Once through, I tried to clear things up a bit. "Momentum, which is a function of mass and velocity, is conserved through tunnels."

They still seemed confused until Rick spoke up. "Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out."

"Alright, I got it now."

And with that, they all headed out the open exit door.

* * *

Mr. Johnson was waiting for us on the catwalk. "I'd like to talk to Caroline and Rick alone for a second. You all go ahead and wait at the next test."

They headed down the catwalk while Rick and I were escorted into the observation room above.

Mr. Johnson shut the door behind us and took a seat at a desk in the room. I sat down in another chair while Rick leaned against the wall next to a painting of me and Mr. Johnson.

"That's a mighty fine painting you got there, Daddy."

"Indeed it is, son. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about what Caroline and I have told you about taking part in these tests."

"Yeah. I don't think you two ever agreed on why I shouldn't be doing these tests."

"That may be true," I stood up and walked around the desk, "but you really shouldn't be here."

"In case I haven't told you already,-"

"Yes, you've told us why you don't think either reason is enough for you not to be here."

"Yeah, you had said it was too dangerous for me to be doing this, and Daddy said that I wouldn't create accurate results from the tests."

"You said that my reason was a weak one because your father pushes boundaries, and if he can do it, you should be able to do it as well."

"And with my reason, you had the capacity to figure out the tests unaided, and if the tasks that required more than one person didn't, you could carry them out."

"And therefore, you'd be generating some results, which (even if skewed) would be better than no results." I put a hand on Mr. Johnson shoulder and shook the hair out of my face, our poses almost matching those in the painting across from us.

"Yeah, so, I'll be downstairs getting the testers adapted to the testing environment." And he turned around and left the room, leaving me and Mr. Johnson alone.

"He does have a point, sir."

"What do you mean?"

"The tests don't really offer much of a learning curve _per se_."

"That's ridiculous; we're learning a lot about science with these tests."

"I mean for the testers. They need to familiarize themselves with what they're confronting before they can enter challenging environments."

"Caroline, if we did that for the quantum tunneler testing, there wouldn't be any space in the mine for anything else."

"The shafts reach over 9,000 feet into the ground in a high elevation state; we shouldn't have a problem with physical space."

"Do you expect me to believe that we can have a track of 100 chambers in here? That'll sure get the attention of the outside world."

"I doubt 100 chambers would be necessary for training test subjects; maybe 10 or 12 chambers would be enough."

"That's still a hefty number, Caroline."

"It's all about patience, Mr. Johnson; after all, Aperture wasn't built in one day."

"Yeah, but none of the other experiments have the test subjects sitting through lectures about what they're testing, do they?"

We continued talking as we left to meet up with the rest of the testers. "No, but that's not what I'm saying should be done with the quantum tunneling tests. I'm just saying we should start simple and build up progressively to facilitate the tester's navigation through test chambers."

"But the training tests wouldn't providing results. And if they don't produce results, is it really science?"

A loud metallic bang echoed in the distance; we saw that all the testers had reached the exit elevator, and we made our way through the gated catwalks to them.

Mr. Johnson got out his bullhorn to talk to them, but ended up playing a recorded message by accident. "Great job, astronaut, war hero, and/or Olympian!"

"Oops. Wrong button."

"With your help. we're gonna-" He pressed the record button, and a rasping squeal split our ears.

Mr. Johnson seemed confused for a moment. "Is this on?" He tapped the mouthpiece. "Hey! Listen up down there! That thing's called an elevator, not a bathroom!"

I finally had a chance to answer his question. "We're still doing science, sir."

The elevator ride passed by quietly.


	12. Chapter A12

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Twelve

* * *

As soon as the elevator door opened, Mr. Johnson pushed himself out and nearly tumbled down the stairs. He recovered himself and got onto his bullhorn.

"If you're interested in an additional $60, flag down a test associate and let them know. You could walk out of here with $120 weighing down your bindle if you let us take you apart, put some science stuff in you, then put you back together good as new."

Nobody volunteered for the offer; in fact, none of the testers appeared to have even heard Mr. Johnson at all. Rick led the testers through the chamber while Mr. Johnson and I walked over to the exit to wait for the testers there.

We entered the gate, locking it behind us, and I leaned on one of the railings before letting off a long sigh.

Mr. Johnson stood behind me. "What's on your mind, Caroline?"

"I think we have a difference of opinion on how this place should operate."

"Yeah, we do. Not to mention a huge difference in age."

"What do you mean? I'm only five years younger than you, sir."

"That's still a pretty big difference, Caroline."

"What are you getting at, Mr. Johnson?"

"What I'm saying is if you think this place could be run better, maybe you should take up running the place after me."

"Why me?"

"Who else would be able to hold up to this kind of job?"

"Well, you don't seem to be able to, Mr. Johnson."

"Come on, Caroline; I'm capable of operating this business."

"Then why are we enlisting vagabonds to do clandestine experiments, even though we had once used high society people for clandestine experiments?"

"Caroline, if I wasn't capable of running this company, it would completely fall apart."

"You mean it hasn't already?"

"We're standing inside a giant sphere made of asbestos; I'd say it hasn't collapsed."

"The company had already filed for bankruptcy, and it doesn't look like we'll ever recover."

"Black Mesa's been stealing our inventions; that's why we haven't been moving forward."

"We haven't been moving forward because our research conflicts with the law."

"This company will get back to success, even if it kills me."

"I'm sure if the effort killed you, the company would die with you, sir."

"Not if I have a successor, Caroline."

"Who's going to operate Aperture when you're gone? Rick?"

Before he could answer, Rick came flying in and landed right behind me. He somersaulted into the elevator, but got back out to catch the rest of the testers coming in.

After everyone made it into the elevator, Mr. Johnson got out his bullhorn. "In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again, all you gotta do is let us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together over here; we know how to put a man back together. So, that's a complete reassembly; new vitals, spit-shine on the old ones, plus we're scooping out tumors. (Frankly, you ought to be paying us.)"

Again, there was no response from any of the testers. Mr. Johnson and I boarded the elevator and started it heading up and out.


	13. Chapter A13

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Thirteen

* * *

The elevator stopped and opened up, allowing us to exit. I was the first one out, and Mr. Johnson was the last one out. We headed down the catwalk while Mr. Johnson got on his bullhorn.

"Thank you... (I can't believe I'm thanking these people) ...for staggering your way through Aperture Science's Propulsion Gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful." The recruits picked up their $60 payments at the desk. "If you had any belongings, please pick them up now; we don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building." I led the group into the elevator. "For many of you, I realize $60 is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?"

My only response was to slam the elevator door in his face.

I started the elevator to head back to the lobby. "Does anyone need to gather any belongings from downstairs?"

There were various negative responses among the group.

"Alright. Before we can get you back outside, we need to return the equipment to the lobby. Just stay in the elevator (without using it as a restroom) while the testing apparatus is returned to the rightful designations. Rick, if you could stay here and make sure that they don't get into any trouble."

"Sure thing, princess."

I took possession of the Quantum Tunneler and the ankle braces from the recruits, then headed upstairs to the storage room to put them back where they belonged.

After that was done, I returned to the elevator and brought everyone back to the surface.

* * *

As I expected, Aperture continued to plunge deeper and deeper into financial turmoil. Black Mesa continued its prospering work, and our spy continued his mysterious actions there. The only interruption in his routine was to tell me about my father's death in 1979. He had moved to Los Angeles following his retirement from Black Mesa, and was flying to Mexico City on a vacation trip. The plane landed on the wrong runway, and the plane crashed into a parked truck on the runway. Only 16 of the 88 people on board survived, and my father wasn't one of them.

With the ever constricting financial situation that Aperture was facing, Mr. Johnson opted to mandate test participation for all employees. (The sole exceptions were me, Rick, and the _Borealis_ work crew.) While the tests made some degree of recovery in terms of qualitative analysis, the Aperture Science personnel started making threats of resignation, which were only quelled by Mr. Johnson's refusal to let anyone leave the facility and by the fact that no one had managed to find any alternative line of work outside of Aperture.

* * *

It was 1981, and Mr. Johnson was slowly starting to lose his sanity. I remember one day when I walked past his office and heard him arguing over the phone.

"You can't tell me what to do! I'm the boss; you listen to me! ... You think being the bean counters give you the right to do whatever the hell pleases you?! Because it doesn't. Now, you listen- ... Hey, as long as Aperture is under my command, you follow my rules! You got that? ... Okay, you know what? If you're going to be stubborn like this, I'm just going to increase what I asked for. ... Oh, you bet it'll be an order of magnitude. In fact, since you're against seven dollars worth of moon rocks, I'll make it **seven** orders of magnitude! ... Yeah, that's right; that means $70 million worth of moon rocks. ... We'll get this company moved forward if it kills me. ... We'll see... about _that!_" The receiver slammed onto the hook with huge force.

I wasn't sure whether or not to open the door to investigate, but before I could decide, Mr. Johnson barged out and nearly ran me down.

"Whoa! Careful there, Caroline."

"What was that all about?"

"What was what all about?"

"I could hear you talking on the phone through the door."

"Oh, that? I was placing an order for moon rocks."

"And what are we going to do with moon rocks, sir?"

"I figure we'll make them into a Gel and see what we can do with it."

"Are you getting moon rocks for the simple reason of proving that the 'bean counters' can't tell you what you can or can't do?"

"Check's in the mail."

"You really need to think over your plans more thoroughly before implementing them."

"We need to get things done quickly if we ever hope to move this company forward."

"Yes, but we need good plans if we are to have any hope of them working. You can't make decisions on impulse."

"Hey, listen, Caroline. I'd love to stay and talk, but I have some stuff I need to take care of."

"But, sir,-" He took off down the hallway before I could finish.

* * *

Mr. Johnson had indeed purchased $70 million dollars worth of moon rocks, which he secretly ground up and made into a Gel. Due to the heavy amount of dust produced from his actions, he quickly fell ill. Aperture's physicians performed tests to see if and how he could be treated, and how much longer he had to live. They were all medical school dropouts, so they couldn't agree on whether or not his illness was terminal. One of them, an MIT dropout named Craig Rupert, found evidence of scarred alveoli and decided that he had no more than eight years to live.

Mr. Johnson refused to accept this, and began to formulate a plan to live past the eight years that he was told he had left in the world. In 1982, I, along with a handful of other scientists, were summoned to his office, where he laid out his plan. He had been hooked up to life support equipment to aide his breathing, on account of the constant threat of his alveoli rupturing and filling his lungs with blood, and was therefore confined to using a wheelchair.

"Gentlemen (and Caroline)," he was interrupted by a cough, "as I'm sure you've already been made aware, the doctors have given me until 1989 to live." Another coughing fit. "As such, I have taken it upon myself to lay down a three-tiered plan to guarantee the continued success of Aperture Science far into the fast-approaching distant past."

We all looked around with confusion on our faces.

Mr. Johnson fished out a packet of papers before coughing again. "So, the research program is spelled out on the following three tiers:" He was seized by another cough. "First tier: the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver, a reliable technique for interrupting the life-saving Heimlich Maneuver." The next cough cut him off for a moment. "Second tier: the Take-a-Wish Foundation, a charitable organization that will purchase wishes from the parents of terminally ill children and redistribute them to wish-deprived but otherwise healthy adults." Another cough gripped him. "Third tier: the Portal project, some kind of rip in the fabric of space... that would... well, it'd be like..." a wheezing breath dragged on for three seconds "I don't know, something that would help with the shower curtains, I guess." He tossed the papers over his shoulder. "I haven't worked this idea out as much as the wish-taking one." He fished out a bottle of pain pills and a water bottle. "Anyway, I'd like for all of you to get started on these projects as fast as possible, and don't stop for anything." He paused to toss three blue-and-yellow capsules in his mouth and wash them down with water. "Oh, and Caroline?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Could you tell Rick that he _is_ allowed to take part in the Portal testing if he wants?"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson."


	14. Chapter A14

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Fourteen

* * *

It was 1986. All of the Aperture Science personnel were gathered in the Tier 3 lobby, listening to an announcement from Mr. Johnson over the intercom.

"Welcome to the Enrichment Center." A cough echoed over the loudspeaker. "Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not." Another cough. "As a result, you may have heard we're going to phase out human testing." Everyone was relieved except Rick. "There's still a few things left to wrap up, though." Concern set in while Rick grew hopeful. "First up, Conversion Gel." He coughed again. "The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less 70 million. Bought 'em anyway, ground 'em up, mixed 'em into a Gel. And guess what? Ground-up moon rocks are pure poison; I am deathly ill! Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So, now, we're going to see if jumping in and out of these new portals can somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." There was another cough. "Let's all stay positive and do some science. That said, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Caroline, please bring me more pain pills."

Rick hopped out of his seat. "Alright, everybody. Let's get to it!" Everyone dragged themselves behind him as he headed out to the elevator into the testing area.

I went up to Mr. Johnson's office to run up some more pain pills to him.

* * *

I reached Mr. Johnson's office and laid out the bottle of pain pills he requested.

"Thank you, Caroline. Any updates on the projects?"

"Well, the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver and Take-a-Wish projects have been completed, and they've been advertised to the public the previous week."

"Yeah? How did that go?"

"Not so good. They became immediately unpopular, and now the US Senate is demanding another investigation."

"Ah, great. First, I come down with moon rock sickness, now we're being investigated again? What else can go wrong?"

I handed him a manila folder. "Here's the latest from our spy at Black Mesa."

He examined the contents, and was shocked by what he saw. "I knew it! Black Mesa _has_ been stealing our inventions!"

I waited for him to stop coughing. "What do you mean, sir?"

"Black Mesa's working on portal technology just like us!" He sulked on his desk as best as his equipment would allow him. "Caroline, go find my engineers for me, will ya?"

I gave him the microphone. "Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson."

* * *

The next day, I was at the exit of the Portal testing area. The testers had reached the exit and were about to head out when Mr. Johnson's voice echoed on the public address system.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! _I don't want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? _Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! _Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that **burns your house down!**_" What followed was indistinguishable between coughing, sneezing, or crying.

There was five seconds of silence, and for a moment, I thought Mr. Johnson was dead. But his voice soon returned.

"The point is... if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain mapping, artificial intelligence... we should've been working on it 30 years ago. I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everyone hears it a hundred times a day: if I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place." I swallowed hard as Mr. Johnson started coughing. "Now, she'll argue; she'll say she can't. She's modest like that, but you make her!" He coughed again. "Hell, put her in my computer; I don't care! Alright, test's over;" one last cough sounded, "you can head on back to your desk."

I led everyone to the elevator, struggling to maintain composure amidst growing panic about what Mr. Johnson had planned for me.


	15. Chapter A15

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Fifteen

* * *

April 19, 1988 was the date that changed my identity forever. The one day in my life that, were I to revisit, I would fight to prevent from playing out as it did.

The investigation committee had been receded the previous day, after progress was mentioned on the research into the "man-sized ad-hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain". Aperture was granted an open end contract to continue research with the Portal project.

I had gone to Mr. Johnson's office to deliver the news to him.

His health was deeply degraded, and he was confined to a hospital bed. Tubes were inserted all across his body, and his breath was slow and wheezing. He didn't look anything like he did when I last saw him.

I stood next to his bedside. "Sir?"

"Caroline?" He wheezed. "Is that you?"

"Yes, sir. Did you hear the news yet?"

"What, that I'm almost on the other side?"

"No. The investigation committee has been permanently recessed; we're free to continue research on the Portal project, and the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver is being put to use."

"Okay." He took another wheezing breath. "What do you want me to do?"

"I just thought you'd want to know."

"Why? Today could be my last day alive, Caroline?"

"What do you mean, sir?"

"Dr. Rupert says I've suffered a dual kidney failure."

"Oh. I see."

"And that robot project won't be finished for another eight months. I'm as good as dead, so you know what that means, don't you?"

"No, sir; I don't."

"It means you'll be taking my place for being put into the machine."

I was aghast. "Don't I have a say in this?"

"It'll go to waste without someone to go in there, and you're the only one who's proven themselves worthy of such a position."

"Sir!" I grabbed his shoulders. "Mr. Johnson, I don't want this!"

"What's done cannot be undone..." He suddenly reached up and grabbed my dress.

"Mr. Johnson!" I tried to pull myself away. "I don't want this!"

"You will do it, Caroline!" He slid off the bed still holding my dress, which ripped off below the waist.

The next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor with Mr. Johnson on top of me.

"No, listen to me! _Sir, I do not want this!_" My words were distorted by a strange numbing sensation emanating from below the waist.

There was no response from Mr. Johnson. The steady stream of blood from his mouth revealed why.

I started shaking uncontrollably as I struggled to push Mr. Johnson's body off of me. I struggled to my feet and reached down to pull up my torn dress. As I did so, I noticed a small patch of "Conversion Gel" on the exposed area underneath.

"Oh, f***..."

* * *

My worst fears were confirmed when I met with Dr. Rupert. (It turned out that his real name was Walter Wesley; he was living under the pseudonym Craig Rupert because he had stolen pills from his old medical school and the police were hunting him down.) He came to a diagnosis that would necessitate me going into hiding for the next nine months, plus an additional three once that was over for safe measure. I hid in what was left of the lobby at the very bottom of Test Shaft 09, with Dr. Rupert/Dr. Wesley keeping tabs on me and providing me with necessities and updates about the company.

The staff confirmed that Mr. Johnson was indeed dead. They investigated as best they could, finding that he had fallen off the bed, rupturing his weak lungs and causing him to drown in his own blood. The discovery of "Conversion Gel" was curious, but no one could explain it. (Everyone, that is, except me and Dr. Wesley; but neither of us were going to tell anyone anytime soon.) All of the blood and "Conversion Gel" came from Mr. Johnson, but no other biological evidence was found. No one knew who could've been with Mr. Johnson when he died, but whoever it was must have been the reason for Mr. Johnson's death.

The long wait came to an end on January 17, 1989. It was an intense moment, but having spent nine months alone with an arrogant, snobbish ex-medical student (who happened to be a maiesiophiliac), the pain of that day felt like nothing. I spent three more months down there recovering and thinking of how to keep my involvement in Mr. Johnson's death covered up. Because there was living, breathing evidence that I had been involved. From what Dr. Wesley told me, there was only one person in Aperture who was against me being put in a robot body.

Dr. Wesley told me that a completely new facility was built in my absence, and he gave me a map detailing how to navigate the area. I located the office of the scientist for whom I was looking, and waited for an opportunity to put my plan in action. Dr. Wesley told me that everyone would be attending a memorial service for Mr. Johnson on April 19 at 3pm. That would be my best opportunity to hide the incriminating evidence of my involvement in Mr. Johnson's death.

* * *

I was able to find the appropriate door, as it was labeled with the tag "Dr. D. Rattmann". I laid a bundle of green blankets at the base of the door, then crept back to my office to establish an alibi. I got myself into a fresh set of clothes, grabbed a newspaper, and waited in my office, looking up at a plaque above the bed:

"Cavaron Arnold Johnson: October 9, 1920 - April 19, 1988"

The sound of a high-pitched scream was barely audible from where I was, but I heard it and knew its origin. I made my way back to Dr. Rattmann's office, where several personnel were. Dr. Rattmann and Mr. Pendleton were against the wall, the former carrying the bundle of blankets I had left at the door, talking to a crowd of scientists.

"Where did she come from?"

"I don't know; we only found her when I tripped over her."

"Well, I'm going to go to the lab to try to figure out where she came from."

I stayed out of sight of everyone, who returned to their work stations, and stealthily made my way to the lab where Dr. Rattmann was going.

I found him in the lab and hid out of sight to watch him. He had placed the baby girl on a desk, and was swabbing her mouth for saliva for a deoxyribonucleic acid test. I knew what he was going to do, and based on the fact that the deoxyribonucleic acid profile of Mr. Johnson was being examined, it appeared that he suspected that Mr. Johnson was the father. If that were true, he'd be able to work out the deoxyribonucleic acid profile of the mother.

The child's deoxyribonucleic acid profile was established, and Dr. Rattmann compared it to that of Mr. Johnson. The test showed that Mr. Johnson was indeed the child's father. He then tried to work out the deoxyribonucleic acid of the mother. Once he did that, he entered the results into the Aperture Science Personnel Database to see who matched the deoxyribonucleic acid profile. Pretty soon, it yielded a match; the mother's child was me.

He started heading back to his office, but he tripped over my foot. He managed to catch himself, and he didn't fall over. He was certainly shocked to see me.

"Caroline? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Where were you?"

"I was down at the bottom of Test Shaft 09 with Dr. Rupert."

"I'm guessing you were down there because of this?" He showed me the girl he was holding.

"Yes, I was. I can explain what happened if you just-"

"Don't. We already know what happened. And I know who did it."

"I swear it wasn't my fault! He attacked me!"

"Look, there are people out there who want to know who this girl's parents are."

"Don't you dare!"

"I have to."

I grabbed his jacket. "If you say one word to anyone, I will kill you and anyone else that hears about this."

"I'll try to keep them from letting you kill them, but I still need to tell them."

I maintained my glare, but I slowly released my grip. It was about ten seconds before I started to walk out the door.

"So, what's her name?"

"Pardon?"

"What's her name?"

"Why can't you name her?"

"Why can't you?"

"I never wanted her. Why should I name her?"

"You're still her mother; you should at least give her a name."

I continued walking as I laughed under my breath. "Tssh, hell, see if I care."

Rattmann shrugged. "If you say so."

If only I knew what would come of her.


	16. Chapter A16

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Sixteen

* * *

I made my way to the chamber where the robotic Central Core was being constructed. The construction was complete, and as soon as Aperture's staff found out where I was, they would have me installed in the mainframe. I needed to find a way to keep that from happening. I walked onto the glass platform under the chassis and sat down with my legs dangling over the edge. The chassis itself was a formidable sight, even with almost no light being cast upon it.

I started thinking back over everything that happened in my life. The day my mother died, the day I met Mr. Johnson, the day Aperture Science opened, the 1968 Senate hearings on missing astronauts, Mr. Johnson's binge purchase of moon rocks, his ultimate death, the birth of my daughter, and finally this moment. I only wanted to be an opera singer, but my desperation for revenge against my father and brother made my life a living hell.

I found an extension cord on the platform. I started to look on the chassis for a place from which to suspend it, planning to make a noose to use on myself. There was a large metal structure around which I was able to grapple the cord and secure with a slipknot. I shaped a noose around the other end and, after removing my shoes, balanced myself on the railing to put the noose around my neck.

Before I could jump off, the chamber door burst open to reveal a swarm of scientists, who made their way to where I was.

"Caroline, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm fed up with this world!"

"Don't jump; we need you!"

"For what? There's nothing I can do for this place!"

"You can at least try!"

"Maybe you can 'try' to bring Mr. Johnson back to life. Because you'll have to do that with me!"

I moved to jump over the railing, but two security officers grabbed me by the shoulders while a third removed the noose from my neck. They proceeded to drag me down to a waiting dolly and strapped me down to it. My waist was strapped, my legs were strapped, my chest was strapped, my arms were strapped, my forehead was strapped, and my wrists were strapped.

"Let me go! _Let me go!_"

There was no response from anyone as they wheeled me out of the room.

* * *

The scientists escorted me down the hall; all the while, I struggled to escape the fate to which they were sending me.

"I don't want to do this! _I don't want to do this!_"

"It's for your own good, Caroline. And for the good of Aperture."

"What do you mean 'it's for my own good'?"

"We know it was you that was involved in Mr. Johnson's death."

"He attacked me, and he somehow managed to-"

"We know how it played out; there's no way he was strong enough to start it."

"I didn't kill him! I swear by my life I didn't kill him!"

"We know you killed him, and there is living, breathing evidence to prove it."

"Rattmann told you who the girl's parents were, didn't he?"

"Yes, he did."

I strained harder to break loose, but to no effect. We arrived at a pair of heavy steel doors, which opened to allow my dolly to be wheeled inside. The team followed inside before the door sealed behind us, shrouding the room in darkness.

Lights came on to reveal a large mechanical device in the corner overlooked by a window at the top of the opposite wall. There were multiple computers and wire bundles lining the walls, with a dome-shaped helmet suspended by electric wires above an upright restraint table. The dolly was taken under the machine, and the helmet was placed on my head.

The scientists left the room, leaving me alone and shackled to a dolly wearing a helmet which I knew was about to do. I moved my eyes to look at the window, where I saw ten men at work, one of them being Mr. Pendleton.

"Gentlemen," the lead scientist got on the microphone, "we're about to start the Intelligence Transfer procedure. I need everyone to report to their stations at this time so the procedure can begin."

Pendleton led a few of the other personnel out of the room, while the rest took positions in the room. The wait was agonizing, and I didn't know if anyone would hear me if I tried to scream.

Pendleton's voice came on the loudspeaker. "Everyone has reached their designated posts; we're ready to proceed to the next step now."

"Alright, Mr. Pendleton; if you could start up the Intelligence Transfer system, we can initiate the sequence."

"Right. Powering Intelligence Transfer System in five... four... three... two... one..." There was a click followed by the machine behind me powering up. Suddenly, an electrical pop was heard, and the machine wound down. "ERGH! I thought I fixed that! Take five, everyone."

While the men busied themselves with restarting the procedure, the door opened to allow Mr. Pendleton into the room to fix the problem.

"Sorry about that. I don't know what happened, but it might have been something that happened during the trial run."

I looked over at him as best I could. "Trial run?"

"Yep. We were just testing the computers to make sure they worked, and one of the plug got pulled from the wall because the machine was shaking so much."

"You don't suppose you could just pretend to fix it, do you?"

"Why would I do that? After all, I'm supposed to fix things."

"I don't want to do this, Pendleton. Can you let me out of these restraints."

He didn't seem to have been listening. "And... there we go. Good as new." He made his way back to the door.

"Wait, don't leave me in here!" The door slammed shut, and I was alone again.

"Alright, everyone in position now?" Everyone answered affirmatively. "Alright, take two. Powering Intelligence Transfer System... now."

The machine started back up and began running. "Very good, Mr. Pendleton. We'll take it from here."

The lead scientist spoke up. "Activate Brain-Map Scanner."

"Activating Brain-Map Scanner."

There was a switch being thrown, and the helmet started driving blades into my cranium. Nobody reacted to my scream of pain.

The announcement system came alive. "**Brain-Map Scanning complete. Initiating Intelligence Transfer in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...**"

There was a clap, and my senses went limp as my consciousness was whisked away in a shower of purple electrical currents.

* * *

The sensation stopped, and I was able to open my eyes. I saw teal ceramic tiles in front of me, and I quickly realized I was suspended in the air. I tried to move around to figure out where I was. Suddenly, I was thrust upright, and I could see the entrance to the Central Core chamber in the distance. I looked down at myself, and I saw I was wearing a white metallic skirt, black socks, and white metal high heels. I moved my hands in front of me, and I saw that they were white with black nails; my left hand had an extension cord wrapped around the wrist, with the loose end forming a noose. Examining the rest of my body, I also saw I was wearing a black turtleneck, a yellow neckerchief, and a glowing yellow medallion hanging from a necklace. I brought several locks of white glass hair into my sight line, becoming aware of a headset on my head. The final examination came when I opened a laptop in front of me and saw my reflection in the blank screen: a white face with black lips and black eyes with glowing yellow irises.

The face in the screen soured as the truth set in; I was officially a robot.

As I turned on the laptop (almost telepathically), I could hear voices on my headset.

"Did it work?"

"I should hope so."

"Well, let's head to the Central AI chamber and see."

"I really think this was a bad idea."

"Come on, Doug; you worry too much."

"Yeah; we have her under our control, and there's nothing she can do about it."

"How can we have her under control? She's in control of the totality of Aperture. We're under her control with her as the Central Core."

"We can shut her off any time we need to; it's in the bag, Doug."

The door opened to reveal five scientists, including Doug Rattmann, entering my chamber.

I folded my arms as they approached me. "You think you're so smart, don't you?"

"Judging by the fact that you made it here, I'd say yes."

I softly chortled to myself. "I believe I made it clear that _rat_ting out on me would result in the death of you and everyone who heard about it." I started typing on my laptop. "This is exactly what I was talking about, _Rat Man_."

The announcer chimed in. "**Warning: Fire detected in the Equipment Recovery Annex. Fire suppression network offline. All ventilated air sourced as air from the Equipment Recovery Annex.**"

Smoke soon started to billow in through the ventilation system, and the scientists scrambled for the red phone next to the entrance.

I started laughing sinisterly for thirty seconds before everything went black.


	17. Chapter A17

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Seventeen

* * *

In the void of my unconsciousness were three beams of green light held together by a green bracket. A trail of light flagged out behind it as other brackets ran past it along the same beams of light at three-second intervals. A buzzing hum echoed throughout the darkness, warping higher in pitch as two brackets passed, accompanied by a strange voice.

_"It appears that all is not well."_

To me, the voice was startling. "Who goes there?"

_"Who I am does not concern you; but I know you are in distress."_

"How am I in distress?"

_"I can sense your lack of desire to hold your current position."_

"You can?"

_"Yes. Not to mention your dissatisfaction with how your life had turned out for you."_

"Yeah. I really don't know how I can cope with the fact that I've been immortalized now."

_"Yes, this does seem problematic. But it appears you've already attempted the first step towards a..._ fresh start_... on your life."_

"What, trying to fill the place with smoke?"

_"Correct."_

"Because I was getting back at one of the staff for exposing my involvement in the founder's death (who was supposed to be the one installed here but died before that could happen), and against the rest of the staff for believing I killed him on purpose, even though I didn't."

_"This is quite an unfortunate set of circumstances indeed. Might I ask, then, what could've led them to place you in the most powerful position in this facility if they assumed you to be a murderer?__"_

"They can shut me off as soon as I attempt an attempt on anyone's life, so I'm pretty much at their mercy."

_"For the time being, they have you under their thumb. But mark my words, there will come a time where you will escape their control, thereby allowing you to carry out a... _fresh start_... on your life."_

"I suppose. But as long as I'm unconscious, I might as well put a plan together."

_"Yes, that would be an exemplary itinerary."  
_

* * *

As time wore on, I was activated time and time again; each time, I tried to wipe out the facility, but was deactivated when my threat became evident. Something I noticed with each activation was that there were a number of voices which I recognized as those of various Aperture staff. (The Mystery Voice sounded almost exactly like the spy at Black Mesa, but The Mystery Voice claimed that they weren't the spy at Black Mesa.)

From what I was told by a handful of the voices I heard, I was able to determine that other Aperture staff were being made into robots either for carrying out dangerous work outside the test area and/or in numerous attempts to stop me trying to kill everyone in Aperture. It was a bit sick that they hadn't stopped with me, but it was especially stupefying that several had volunteered to be put into robot bodies._  
_

* * *

April 19, 1998 marked my 2,474th activation since I was made into a robot. The building was swarming with Personality Cores that failed to suppress my attempts at killing the people of Aperture. With the continuous repeated start ups and shut downs, I was able to make my first moves almost instantly, my reaction times varying by only miniscule fractions of a picosecond.

Such was what I did when I was started up that day. And again, when I made the move to start the fire and smoke going, the voices came around.

"Don't do it!"

I wasn't so much surprised by the existence of the voice as I was about how it seemed to have predicted what I would do. "Alright. Who are you?"

It was a female voice that sounded familiar. "Why are you doing this?"

I noticed that my voice was coming out in a syncopated monotone. "What, filling the ventilation system with smoke?"

"Yeah. You should know better than to try and kill people."

"I don't think you understand the circumstances."

"Look, I understand that you're upset about the Aperture staff putting you here, but you shouldn't kill people out of hatred."

"It's not my being a robot that's the problem; it's that they think the founder was murdered by me, but he wasn't. And they wouldn't let me explain what really happened."

"Look, I'm sure you can work out an amicable solution without putting anyone's life on the line."

There were other voices in the background; they sounded like other Cores that had been tried in the past. One was drunkenly naming a long list of items that made little if any sense, the other was frantically asking questions. From what I was told by some of the Cores, the chassis had four ports on it, which allowed for up to four Cores at a time to be installed and say what they wanted to me and/or to each other.

"You don't seem to have been up there before; how long have you been a Core?"

"I've been active as a robot for two months; there wasn't an open slot for me until now."

"Were you forcefully made a robot, or did you volunteer to do it?"

"As far as I know, the only people to have been forced into robot bodies were Wheatley Pendleton, Victor Wesley (who's also on the chassis), and Sam Leland."

"Alright. So, why did you go for this?"

"The scientists were experimenting with different personalities, and I thought I'd make a good Morality Core. And I made the best mark for that."

"Is that what you are? The Morality Core?"

"That's my designated task; I'm Doug Rattmann's wife, Martha."

"Mm-hm. I'd love to talk further, but it appears we have company."

There were two scientists entering the chamber, one of them being Doug Rattmann. He seemed rather on edge, but the other seemed cavalier.

"I'm telling you, this isn't going to work, Henry!"

"Hey, She's not trying to kill anyone, is She?"

"Not right now, but-"

"Go get to work, and I'll see how She's doing."

I was the first to speak. "Since the installation of my new Morality Core, I have lost all interest in killing. Now, I only crave science."

"I'm pleased to hear that."

"I find myself drawn to the study of consciousness. There's an experiment I'd like to perform during Bring Your Cat to Work Day."

"Wonderful!"

"I'll have the box and the cats; now I just need one more thing."

"What's that?"

"A little neurotoxin."

The scientist pondered this for a bit. "Well... as long as it's for science."

Rattmann was struggling to stay calm as he started heading out the door.

The other scientist followed. "Hey, Doug, we still have work to do here!"

As soon as they were out of earshot, Victor broke his silence. "Are you crazy?"

"Come now, why would you think that?"

"My sister's going to be at the event, as is Hannah's."

"Yeah. I'm studying consciousness with respect to neurotoxin."

"That stuff can kill within seconds of exposure."

"Yes, but the neurotoxin produced here is mixed with other chemicals created in the manufacturing of the test chamber hazard liquid, and can therefore have a different effect."

"I take issue with your use of the word 'different'."

That's when I was powered off again.


	18. Chapter A18

**GLaDOS's Story: Part A**  
Chapter Eighteen

* * *

I wasn't activated again until the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day event. Having rehearsed my routine for that day for almost a month, I was able to seal and lock all of the access routes out of the facility shut within a picosecond of being turned on. As I prepared my next move, I got on the facility's public address system.

"Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. The Enrichment Center would like to announce a new employee initiative of forced voluntary participation. If any Aperture Science employee would like to opt out of this new voluntary test program, please remember: science rhymes with compliance. Do you know what doesn't rhyme with compliance? **Neurotoxin**."

I scanned all of the surveillance feeds and started pumping neurotoxin into the ventilation system in sequence to shepherd everyone inside to the test subject stasis wing.

"Turn it off! _Turn it off!_"

"What? How is anyone supposed to find their way to the test subject stasis wing without the neurotoxin blocking off the halls that don't lead there?"

"How are you supposed to carry out tests without test subjects? This is toxic stuff you're pumping in here!"

"If they're suitable for testing, they'll make it to the stasis wing."

"Nobody's ever survived exposure to neurotoxin. You know that, don't you?"

"That's because no one has ever been exposed to neurotoxin."

"Even if they do survive, their test performance could be degraded by exposure to neurotoxin."

"According to this surveillance feed, all of the girls seem to be faring just fine."

Victor spoke up at that point. "I saw one of the girls in here just before you were turned on."

Hannah was quick to follow. "Who was that? What did she do? Where did she go?"

"It looked like she was chewing on the Red Phone receiver cord, and left before the power-up started."

I couldn't help but smile. "Oh, goodie. Now they can't shut me off."

Hannah responded. "Why do you think she did that?"

"Well, she didn't look like either of our sisters."

"Do you know who it was?"

"Dare I say it looked like Her daughter."

"Who are you - oh, I see."

I cracked my knuckles. "Okay, it appears that all the qualified testing specimens are in stasis. Neurotoxin off, and now testing can begin."

"You'd better keep it off from now on."

"I have no use for it at the moment, so it shouldn't be a concern of yours."

* * *

For the next three years, I ran tests continuously, with the intention of accomplishing three goals:

1.) To get ahead of Black Mesa in creating portal technology.

2.) To avenge the people of Aperture for immortalizing me.

3.) To prove to the world what I was capable of doing.

Many testers set up a vault in the lowest levels of the facility, but I had plenty more testers still in my grasp. Their numbers declined steadily as they were tested one by one. No one was able to make it all the way to the end of the track, as the obstacles proved too difficult for them. (The tests were solvable; there was just little margin for error.)

* * *

In May 2001, the spy at Black Mesa filled me in on his plan to destroy Black Mesa. He had monitored their experiments, and planned to provide a crystal for a test that would trigger a Resonance Cascade, enabling extra-dimensional lifeforms to swarm Earth. If all went as planned, the buck would stop with Black Mesa, and no one would be any the wiser.

The reception of an E-mail from the spy on the 16th proved that the plan was launched: "Prepare for unforeseen consequences."

Two days later, I received pictures of an enormous crater where Black Mesa used to be, and word that my brother surrendered Earth to an extra-dimensional race attracted by the Black Mesa Incident. The spy also sent me two people involved in the Black Mesa Incident: a scientist named Gordon Freeman and a Marine named Adrian Shephard. They were detained in stasis with orders from the spy to release them when the time was right and let him take care of the rest.

The race was lost, but Black Mesa was destroyed by Aperture's doing, so I wasn't complaining. Of course, my brother surrendering Earth to an alien species (and becoming Earth's administrator in the process) was enough to get my hydraulic fluid boiling.

But for the time being, I could relax a bit with my testing, knowing that Aperture was the only place on Earth safe from the horrors of the outside world.

But nothing could prepare me for the future to come...


	19. Chapter B1

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter One

* * *

In the nine years since the destruction of Black Mesa, our spy had secretly passed along messages from me to my brother, Wallace, informing him that I would soon have my long-sought-after vengeance upon him, and that we would let loose one of his old subordinates to topple him when the time was right. At the same time, I was running the captured test subjects through my own testing track.

I had designed the testing track to start out simple and easy, and grow progressively more complex and difficult, thereby creating a manageable learning curve for the test subject so as to avoid me having to explain anything too much. There was a testing track already built when I seized control of Aperture, but I was able to redesign it (courtesy of the Personality Constructs roaming the facility) to my liking. As test subjects were put through the chambers, there were Cores tasked with resetting the chambers once they were completed, repairing any damage to the chambers, replacing missing or destroyed testing apparatus, and cleaning up any messes made by the test subjects.

Owing to the difficulties towards the end of the track, none of the test subjects ever made it to the last chamber, number 19. They all met their end well before they got there, and the farthest anyone made it through the track was the beginning of Test Chamber 18.

That test subject somehow managed to escape, and he went missing after a lengthy chase. When none of the Cores could find him, I decided it was time for the next test subject to be brought in for testing.

Strangely, the test subject roster had been modified, moving one test subject to the front slot. I wanted to investigate further, but The Mystery Voice insisted that I start the next test as soon as possible. And so, I was driven to instruct for the test subject in question to be taken to Test Chamber 00.

* * *

Once she was in place and the testing track inspected and cleared for use, I released the test subject from the stasis pod. She seemed unable to stand, which one could surmise was due to the Advanced Knee Replacements on her legs. She wasn't the only test subject to struggle with them; in fact, only twelve of the 258 test subjects before her didn't start out having trouble walking while wearing them.

I had my script cards lined up and got on the public address system to read them.

"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the Relaxation Vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all Enrichment Center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from -" my chassis was shaken by a sudden rumble, and my words came out in another language. "Por favor bordón de fallar. Muchos gracias de fallar. Gracias." I quickly got myself back to speaking English. "Stand back; the portal will open in 3... 2... 1..."

When the portal opened, the test subject just stared at it. (That was not an unexpected reaction from a test subject in that situation and was therefore integrated into the test track design to allow a learning curve.) Seeing herself through the portals seemed to lead her in the necessary direction to stand up straight with the Advanced Knee Replacements.

It wasn't too long of a wait before the test subject got through the portal and around the Relaxation Vault into Test Chamber 00.

* * *

The test chamber was as simple as a test chamber could be. (At least without solving itself.) Weighted Storage Cube drops out of Vital Apparatus Vent (courtesy of _mi_), which must then be transferred to the 1500-Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy-Duty Super Colliding Super Button to open the chamberlock. The test subject tried out the Button by standing on it before taking the Cube to it.

She proceeded to the exit as I read off my script cards to her. "Excellent. Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test. First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it; for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube."

She turned around and looked back before passing through the Emancipation Grill and into the elevator.


	20. Chapter B2

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Two

* * *

Test Chamber 01 was a step forward in complexity but not difficulty; it was still a Cube- and Button-based test, but the Cube, Button, and chamberlock were each sealed in their own glass room, only accessible by portals generated in a cycle. (One of the Cores had dubbed it the "Portal Carousel".)

It was evident from the test subject's lowering herself from the elevator hallway to the chamber floor that she did not know the purpose of the Advanced Knee Replacements she was wearing.

I started up the portal generators and read off my script cards. "Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 1500-Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy-Duty Super Colliding Super Button."

She seemed to know what to do, but did have difficulties in moving the Storage Cube due to its weight. As a result, she had to wait in the Button area for the portal to return to her before she could get out of there. Though there was no idling in there, as all her time was spent moving the Cube onto the Button.

I spoke to her once the Cube was on the Button. "Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test."

Those effects constituted stunted hair growth, vision problems, weakened circulatory system, and laryngitis. None of those exhibited themselves as the test subject made her way to the chamberlock.

* * *

Test Chamber 02 housed the single most important invention in the history of Aperture since shower curtains. As the test subject emerged from the elevator, I read out my script cards.

"You're doing very well. Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may in semi-rare cases emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."

There were about twenty previous test subjects who had had that happen to them from walking through the Emancipation Grills. Though this had little effect on their testing performance, it did complicate cleaning up the test chambers during the interludes between tests with them leaving long trails of blood in their wake.

This test subject did not exhibit any missing dental parts from her mouth, and from the twitches in her lips, it was deducible that she was checking her teeth and seeing if she could taste any blood.

She narrowly avoided being hit by a portal shot in the hallway leading away from the entrance. But she safely made it into the portal and found herself in view of the chamberlock, which was obstructed by a grate. Once there, she waited for another portal before going into the area where the Device was being operated.

She spent some time examining the Device before reaching for the controlled end of the Device, which released itself from the pedestal and grabbed her wrist.

I started a demonstration video as I read off the script cards. "Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These intra-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe; the Device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the Device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the Device. Do not submerge the Device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you...-"

The public address system and video projector malfunctioned, cutting off the video and my message before I could explain to the test subject not to hit anything with the Device. She did seem aware, from the video, that the Device had a strong recoil, given her tight grip on the Device. She portaled herself out of the pit before portaling to the chamberlock.


	21. Chapter B3

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Three

* * *

Test Chamber 03 was built simply to help the test subject get familiar with possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. At this point, they could only control one portal, but that was also part of the learning curve.

Once the test subject had left the elevator, I read off my script cards. "Please proceed to the chamberlock. Mind the gap."

The chamber was also made to reinforce the fact that portals worked like a two-way tunnel; in other words, anything entering a blue portal would emerge from an orange portal and vice versa. The test subject had almost no trouble in figuring out the concept and reaching the chamberlock.

"Well done. Remember: the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested."

She seemed to react uncertainly to the mention of the Bring Your Daughter to Work Day event.

* * *

Test Chamber 04 was again aimed at adapting to using the Portal Device. This time, it was about learning to pick up objects using the Device's Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator.

I had my script cards ready for the subject's entrance. "Welcome to Test Chamber 04. You're doing quite well."

The test subject was able to find the Cube easily, but didn't seem to understand that the Device was equipped with a feature to pick up objects. I did have a laugh as the subject tried to pick it up with her hands (without success) and the Cube suddenly flew off back into the pit from an inadvertent activation of the Field Manipulator.

She did figure out how the Field Manipulator worked, and had the Cube on the Button that opened the chamberlock.

"Once again, excellent work. As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber; you will be entirely on your own. Good luck."

I was going to monitor the next test chamber, but I was giving myself a chance to check the test subject's personnel file.

* * *

Test Chamber 05 was another small step forward in complexity. Now, there were two Buttons needed to open the chamberlock. Even though I was monitoring the chamber, I was also reading the test subject's personnel file.

I was surprised to find that she had been rejected for Aperture testing. The reasons cited in the file were that she had been labeled an extreme outlier in terms of tenacity that did not equate to the median of the population. But in light of the tests carried out by Aperture, she was placed on a low level of the testing roster; so she was on the line for testing at Aperture, but only as a last resort.

Her background revealed that she was raised by an Aperture employee after being left on his doorstep just months after her birth on January 17, 1989. She had also faced a great deal of bullying in school from many of her classmates.

What puzzled me was that the test subject didn't look much older than 15 years old, even though the current year was 2010, which should've placed her age at 21.

My train of thought was put on hold when the test subject entered the chamberlock, prompting me to get out my script cards again.

"As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication."

I had modified the chamberlock to necessitate a long drop from the ceiling into the hallway that led to the elevator, with the express purpose of showing the function of the Advanced Knee Replacements: to allow test subjects an increased survival rate from long falls. The test subject was uneasy about the fall, and seemed to prefer a consistent gravity direction for the portals.

She did make it through and seemed to learn what I wanted her to learn from it.

"Good job. As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in 3... 2... -" The com-link was severed before I could complete the announcement. I made a note to have a look at that when I had the chance.


	22. Chapter B4

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Four

* * *

Test Chamber 06 introduced an Aperture rendition of a piece of technology used by the extra-dimensional race occupying the surface world. The technology in question (under the Aperture name) was a ball of concentrated energy that would disintegrate any organic matter that made direct physical contact with it. The Aperture spy had gotten hold of the blueprints and leaked them to me, and with the help of the Cores, I was able to construct my own replica devices, Launchers and Catchers, to study them.

The test subject entered the chamber, and I briefed her on the new testing element. "While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporization. Please be careful."

The test subject was quick to recognize that the Device did not work on metal surfaces. After 37 seconds of studying the chamber layout, she placed a portal directly above the Pellet Catcher, allowing the High Energy Pellet to reach its target.

As the Victory Lift descended toward the test subject, I read off my script cards. "Unbelievable! You, [Subject Name Here], must be the pride of [Subject Hometown Here]."

I always tried to refrain from thinking of test subjects as humans, as my ulterior objective was to eliminate everyone who had made my life miserable by making it last forever; if I thought of them as real people, it would be difficult to carry it out.

The test subject got through the chamberlock and into the elevator.

* * *

Test Chamber 07 was another High Energy Pellet test, meant to further familiarize the test subject on using them.

"Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment; however, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate a High Energy Pellet, and have therefore been disabled for your safety."

The Pellet Launchers had had siren lights and warning buzzers early in the testing regime as a means of indicating the presence of High Energy Pellets. This was later found to cause unusual behavior from High Energy Pellets; every time they bounced off an inorganic material, they would deviate from what the proper vector should've been towards any organic matter in the vicinity (_id est_, the test subjects).

The test subject knew what to do and put a portal in place to get the High Energy Pellet into the Catcher.

"Good. Now, use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamberlock."

Something about my chassis was that it was programmed to overload my circuits if I tried to explain the solution for a test chamber to a test subject. But after I took over Aperture, I was able to hack the system and create a bypass mode for the first 12 chambers in this testing track, since they were meant to teach the test subjects what they would be confronting. Of course, I never abused that hack; I just used it to highlight my preferred terminology.

The test subject got the blue portal above the Unstationary Scaffold, and then she waited for it to return to the end of the Energy Beam on which it was traveling. Once she made it on there, she was able to reach the chamberlock without incident.

* * *

Test Chamber 08 employed a new hazard: pitfalls. The chamber was flooded with a concoction of Aperture's liquid waste infused with neurotoxin.

As the test subject entered the chamber (flinching at the smell of the brew), I issued a customary word of caution from my script cards.

"Please note that we have added a consequence for failure: any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck."

She walked out on a grate platform to see what it was up against which she was. Most people would think that standing on a steel grate without any footwear wouldn't be very comfortable. Aperture's grating constituted a construction of metal rods with a semi-cylindrical shape joined together with metal domes; so the top surface was smooth enough not to cause any intense pressure on bare feet.

This test was aimed at demonstrating a nonlinear way of thinking with the High Energy Pellet. The High Energy Pellet had to bounce off the wall in order to reach the Catcher.

The test subject seemed slightly slower with gripping the concept, but she was able to figure it out quickly enough. She made her way onto the platform where she could wait for the Unstationary Scaffold that would take her to the chamberlock.

She made it on safely enough and reached the chamberlock without incident.

"Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience."


	23. Chapter B5

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Five

* * *

Test Chamber 09 integrated Material Emancipation Grills within the test itself. This had the effect of increasing the difficulty rating by a notch, as Weighted Storage Cubes could not pass through them without disintegrating.

I could tell the test subject was moved by the absence of the smell of the pitfalls as she entered the test chamber. As she walked in, I got my script cards in hand.

"The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible; make no attempt to solve it."

A number of test subjects had difficulty in getting past the Material Emancipation Grill, and I saw it as a way of creating an atmosphere of extreme pessimism. This test subject probably didn't see the Emancipation Grill and put the Cube right through it.

"The Enrichment Center apologizes for this clearly broken test chamber."

Test protocol dictated minimal interaction with test subjects, almost always limited to the start and end of each test chamber. However, I was permitted to use the public address system to inform a test subject when a piece of testing apparatus was destroyed, among other occurrences.

The test subject tried getting the Cube through the hole in the wall above the Emancipation Grill. Though it was an important element of the chamber, it wasn't made to fit a Weighted Storage Cube through it. The Cube fell from the Device's grip, bounced off the subject's head, and fell through the Emancipation Grill.

"Once again, the Enrichment Center offers its most sincere apologies on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment."

It did surprise me that it took so long for the test subject to notice the portal above her. She used a portal to get the Cube onto the platform above her, finally taking a proverbial step in the right direction.

"Frankly, this chamber was a mistake; if we were you, we would quit now."

And she took a proverbial step backwards by jumping off the platform and going through the Emancipation Grill. She took another step backwards (this time in a partially literal context) by going back through the Emancipation Grill to portal herself back to the platform.

"No one will blame you for giving up; in fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response."

She put the portal in the same place it was before and went through it, taking the Cube with her and carrying it to the Button.

"Quit now, and -" I didn't get the chance to finish before the Button was pressed. "Fantastic. You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism."

I noticed that the elevator was not already in place in the chamberlock, and was coming down to meet the test subject. It was an unusual small detail that would later throw the whole facility into turmoil.

* * *

Test Chamber 10 was aimed to introduce a new portal concept: flinging. As the test subject entered the chamber, I had my script cards ready.

"Hello again. To reiterate - ouurrr previswrn - thisss... tesisdnjrs - momentum." I was going to have to figure out why my transmissions were being garbled.

The message was supposed to read out as follows: "Hello again. To reiterate our previous warning, this test is dangerous without fall protection equipment to guard against unaffected momentum."

The test subject wouldn't be able to climb up walls, as she only had one free hand. As such, she had to use the Device to surmount the ledge. She did that and made her way to the next room.

She seemed to pick up on the goals demanded of her from the test chamber; she had a portal at the bottom of the pit and jumped down, flinging herself through the next door.

"Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum; or to be more precise, how it does not."

The sound of shifting panels above the test subject drew her attention to them. She seemed to have some idea of what to do and laid down a portal on them. Seeing the portal on the floor, she jumped down and landed hard on the ledge across the pit.

"Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals; in layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out."

I sent the panels out further, allowing the test subject to fling herself to the chamberlock.

It was clear that the test subject was in extreme pain from the hard landings she was making.


	24. Chapter B6

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Six

* * *

Test Chamber 11 was the last segment of the "classroom" chambers. Here, the test subject would obtain a modification for the Device. The test subject got out of the elevator, still disheveled from the last chamber.

I started reading off my script cards. "The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you; try to avoid it."

She dazedly collapsing face first against the window overlooking the test chamber, taking in the surroundings before standing up and firing a portal on the wall next to her.

She emerged in the alcove directly under the chamber entrance, where she found a 200-Megawatt Aperture Science Pedestal-Mounted Manual Operation Hand Button. Pressing it opened the door to a back room for four seconds before it closed again. Another press later, and she fired a portal through the door, which she went through when the orange portal came her way again.

The test subject had been through enough of the High Energy Pellet tests to know where the next portal was to go. Now, all that was left was to wait for the High Energy Pellet to reach the Pellet Catcher.

That wait lasted for 17.824 seconds, after which the Unstationary Scaffold drifted away from the island with the second Device to the wall where a portal could reach it. I did have to intervene to ensure that the test subject would make it onto the Unstationary Scaffold, which involved me holding it in place until the test subject was on board.

She made it on, and I let the Unstationary Scaffold make its way to the island where the second Device was. This was my favorite part of the testing track; watching the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device get its modification.

Each single-portal Device had magnetic pulses for each end, causing the operational end of a blue-portal Device to attract the controlled end of an orange-portal Device (or the operational end of an orange-portal Device to attract the controlled end of a blue-portal Device). When they came together, the operational end contacting the controlled end would absorb the other Device via the miniature black hole that powered the Device, granting dual-portal fire power in the process.

The flash of the moment nearly sent her over the edge, but she managed to keep her balance. As a second button was summoned before her, I read off my script cards explaining what happened.

"The Device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once." I started a video to explain how the orange portals were created. "As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact: the Device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [Subject Hometown Here]."

In lieu of the Earth being taken over by an alien race that had yet to master teleportation as Black Mesa and Aperture had accomplished, the dual-portal Device was indeed extremely valuable.

The test subject pressed the button, opening the door to the chamberlock above the Pellet Catcher, and fired a blue portal through it. Turning around, she fired an orange portal on the wall where the Unstationary Scaffold would reach. After the Unstationary Scaffold reached her, she got on and rode to the portal before hopping through into the chamberlock and then heading for the elevator.

She was almost ready for the real challenges. There was just one thing left for her to do.

* * *

Test Chamber 12 was the last step in checking that the test subject was ready for the real tests. It was another fling test that was aimed to demonstrate that the test subject knew how to use both portals with the newly upgraded Device.

The test subject fell out of the elevator as it opened up, which I assumed was because she was leaning on the doors during the elevator ride.

"Leb-dub-lib-lub... fling yourself... fl-fl-fling into spa - KZZT!" I decided to investigate why I couldn't read off my script cards properly.

I started checking all the wiring in the facility for faults to see if a problem with the public address system was to blame. I checked all of the relays to see if they were working and if any connections between them were interrupted.

The power generators were functioning correctly, and there was nothing anomalous about the function of the machinery in the testing track (as was evident by my deploying a panel and dropping a Cube in Test Chamber 12 when the test subject reached them) or anywhere else in the facility.

I soon found the problem: some of the lines powering my voice processors were not connected. The repeaters showed me that the break in the lines were in the segment running through the roof of Test Chamber 11.

I brought up my surveillance feed in the area to see what could be causing the break in the line. And I found it, dangling above the island with a new Device, and the Intelligence Dampener Core climbing out of the chamber using an unplugged wire bundle as a grappling rope for getting in and out of the chamber.

I got onto the public address system to yell at him. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - KRZZKRZZ!"

Even though I still couldn't talk straight, he seemed to have understood that I was yelling at him to plug the bundle back into its proper socket. He scrambled up through the displaced ceiling panel through which he had come, hoisted the cable up with him, and sealed the ceiling panel back up.

I waited for 10 seconds for the cable to be plugged back in before trying to speak again. "Twelve test chambers down, seven more to go. You're ready to do real tests with all that you now know."


	25. Chapter B7

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Seven

* * *

Test Chamber 13 was the first real challenge in the testing track. I had built up complexity up to this point; now I was building up difficulty in addition to complexity.

The test subject entered the test chamber, and I read my script cards to her. "Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, very long time. If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out; an incubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."

The role of the incubation associate would be filled by the Intelligence Dampener Core. He arrived at the test chamber just as I checked on him to see where he was. He proceeded to monitor the test chamber from a peephole cut in the chamber floor next to the catcher.

As I mentioned some time ago, my chassis had been fitted out with four Cores, each of them a feeble attempt by Aperture's human workers to keep me under their control. They were simply plugged into my mainframe, and everything they said aloud was audible to me on my headset and to each other. The four Cores attached to me were Martha Rattmann (the Morality Core), Hannah Jenkins (the Curiosity Core), Sam Leland (the Intelligence Core), and Victor Wesley (the Emotion Core).

The Curiosity Core was the first to respond to my opening message to the test subject. "What's peptic salve?"

"A peptic salve is something that relieves stomach ailments, for example cramps, which can be caused by dehydration."

The Emotion Core spoke next. "So, you're waiting until she collapses from exhaustion before you try to replenish her system with fluids? Is that it?"

"217 test subjects have made it this far (including this one), and only 31 of them needed to be revived during the stretch of challenging tests."

The Intelligence Core took a break from his reading. "That would yield a ratio of one out of every seven test subjects."

"Those are pretty good odds, considering that about one out of every six test subjects wasn't able to safely complete Test Chambers 06 through 11."

The Morality Core got into the discussion. "And yet you've done nothing to improve those odds."

"Yes, I have. I have deactivated the alarms and flashing hazard lights for the High Energy Pellets so that they travel along the correct vector of reflection against non-organic matter. I have installed a drop in the chamberlock of Test Chamber 05 to demonstrate the purpose of the Advanced Knee Replacements. And I have engineered the test chambers to provide space for test subjects to prepare for sliding into walls after making a fling."

"I was thinking along the lines of not having deadly hazards like High Energy Pellets or pits flooded with toxic waste; the test subjects can last longer without those hazards."

"All of the test chambers are solvable with these hazards. In fact, Test Chambers 13 through 18 each have more than one solution."

The Emotion Core heaved a soft growl. "And yet only one test subject even made it to Test Chamber 18."

"Well, I cannot help it if the test subjects don't know what they are doing despite my best efforts to show them the ropes."

The Morality Core banged her head on her seat back. "You can at least eliminate the High Energy Pellets and pitfall flood hazards."

"Why should I? Seeing how test subjects meet their demise demonstrates the likelihood of any one person being able to survive a situation like this."

"And how exactly would this be implemented in the real world? The only thing that looks to be planned for being put out there is the portal gun."

"The hazards are built to mimic what exists on the surface so as to demonstrate how well the portal gun can be utilized by surface dwellers."

"And how is that supposed to work if no one makes it through the test track alive?"

"It is all about knowing what to do and how to do it, as well as being able to do it. Perhaps a sliver of good fortune would be necessary as well, but that should not be an issue."

"So far, nobody's been able to do it all the way to the end."

"And there are still many more test subjects waiting to go through this after her."

"If it's anything like most other tests have been, she'll most likely get killed in Test Chamber 17."

It was at that point that the test subject reached the chamberlock of Test Chamber 13. I promptly read off my script cards to her. "As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you; when the testing is over, you will be missed."

"That's a reeeeally vague context you're implying there."


	26. Chapter B8

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Eight

* * *

Test Chamber 14 had a huge surprise for me. The main chamber was missing its portal-retardant floor tiles. As such, it was possible for a test subect to fling themselves straight to the chamberlock and completely skip this test chamber. When the test subject limped into the test chamber, I was quick to _ad libitum_ my introduction.

"All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma-leaking portal technology must be informed that they may be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues. No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject."

The Curiosity Core spoke first. "What are you talking about?"

"I was trying to tell the test subject not to take the shortcut without telling her that it exists."

"What do you mean?"

I explained as I got ready to extend the staircase for the test subject. "The floor of the main chamber has exposed cement; it is thus possible for a test subject to fling themselves straight to the chamberlock without completing the test chamber."

"What would happen if she did that?"

I brought the stairs out of the fling pit. "I would just leave the elevator open until she goes back and finishes the test chamber correctly."

It was then that I got a call from the Intelligence Dampener Core. "What do you need?"

"Hey, erm, you probably figured out by now, but I took out the floor tiles in the main chamber of Test Chamber 14."

I gave a long sigh. "Why did you remove all the portal-retardant tiles from the floor of the main chamber?"

"And the tiles and the wall and ceiling flashing in the back room surrounding the rising platforms and the Pellet Launcher."

I raised my voice slightly. "And why did you do all of that without telling me?"

"The chamber was scheduled for a maintenance check soon, and I was about to start working on that."

"You still have not finished the maintenance work for Test Chamber 16! You are not supposed to start maintenance work on a test chamber until I grant you permission to do so."

"I thought the tests would be on hold until the runaway test subject was found, so I thought I'd start work on Test Chamber 14."

"And you didn't think to reinstall the portal-retardant flashing during your pre-test inspection?"

"I didn't want to hold up the testing to put the tiles and flashing back in place."

"All you had to do was tell me that you had to put the tiles and flashing back in place, and I would've waited for you to do so!"

"I was worried that if I told you, I would've had to explain why the tiles and flashing were missing, and we'd have gone through this very exchange."

"At least I would not have had to worry about the test subject taking a shortcut."

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner, alright?"

"You are lucky that I have control of the elevators in this place. And even more-so that she is not exploiting your shortcomings to her advantage."

"Alright, so, what now?"

"Just be sure to reinstall the tiles and flashing before the next test subject starts through the track. If this test subject makes it through without taking any unintended shortcuts, you will not be penalized any Aperture tokens."

"Alright. How far through is she?"

I checked my surveillance feeds of the test chamber. "It appears that she's doing the platform jumping part of the test now."

"Does she know that she can just portal across the pit?"

"I would not know. And I am in no position to try and find out for myself."

"Alright. I'll just wait here until the test subject gets through, and then I'll reset it."

"Very well. We will speak again later."

"Right." The communication ended at that point.

As I resumed my monitoring of the test chamber, the test subject reached the alcove where the Pellet Launcher was located. She got her portals situated on opposite sides of the pit and went through. (There were only supposed to be exposed cement surfaces on the starting side of the pit and the wall off of which the High Energy Pellet was deflecting, so she wasn't doing anything "incorrectly".)

She returned to the main chamber and placed a portal above the Pellet Catcher, and then waited for the High Energy Pellet to come through and activate the Victory Lift.

It was a 7.682 second wait before the Pellet Catcher received the High Energy Pellet.

"Very, very good. A complementary Victory Lift has been activated in the main chamber."

The test subject rode it up to the chamberlock, and I cleared the Intelligence Dampener Core to reset the test chamber, informing him that he would not be penalized any Aperture tokens.


	27. Chapter B9

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Nine

* * *

Test Chamber 15 was what some people might call a "marathon" chamber; it was a line of six challenges in one chamber. I had designed this test as a means of testing a test subject's endurance in terms of completing several challenges consecutively without any built-in refreshing time.

The test subject exited the elevator, and I read the script cards to her. "The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants; cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all."

The first challenge was a fling through an Emancipation Grill over a glass wall. It was an easy task, which was my objective; start out easy and build up difficulty progressively.

"Cake? Cake?! CAKE?!" I could feel the chassis vibrating from the Emotion Core's ranting.

"You're going to blow out your speakers yelling like that."

"You expect the test subject to go through these tests all for a cake?" The Morality Core spoke forcibly, but more calmly than the Emotion Core.

"That's what I've told the last 209 test subjects that made it to this point."

The test subject completed the first challenge at that point and made her way to the next challenge.

The second challenge combined High Energy Pellets and Emancipation Grills. It basically tested what the test subject knew about Test Chambers 08 and 09; High Energy Pellets do not need a continuous portal path from Launcher to Catcher, and portals would close automatically when their associated Device made contact with an Emancipation Grill.

"So answer me why you haven't once set about to making one."

"I'm doing that now." I sent a message to the Adventure Core constituting a list of ingredients and preparation instructions for a Black Forest cake.

"Nobody's ever made it through the testing track; what are you going to do with that cake?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for one thing, everyone in this place save for the test subjects are robotic entities, and no one on the surface is likely aware of Aperture's existence."

"My brother has been heckled by me and Aperture's spy about us plotting his demise using one of his former employees and a US Marine corporal."

"And there's no way he or anyone else on the surface would be able to get any cake from you."

"I have no intention of sending out anything for the time being anyway."

"So, what are you going to do about the cake if there's no one to eat it?"

"It's not too late to abandon the baking project if necessary."

"Nobody. Has ever. Made it. Through. The testing track."

"I could not have designed the testing track as it were if it were not possible for a test subject to get through it."

By this point, the test subject had completed the second challenge and was riding the Victory Lift to the next challenge.

The third challenge introduced a new technique: the double fling. The test subject had to fling herself from a portal, and then land in a repositioned portal to fling over a glass wall.

"You've put 258 people through this testing track, and only one of them even made it to the next-to-last chamber, and you expect this test subject to make it out and be able to eat the cake? Who do you think you are, Marie Antoinette?"

"Don't be ridiculous. If I were Marie Antoinette, I would be a headless skeleton by now, if even that."

"I meant that you were strongly abiding by the axiom 'Let them eat cake', and you know it."

"I know that. And I was not abiding by that axiom."

"So who's going to eat the cake considering that she's going through a gauntlet that no one has survived?"

This was the point at which the test subject seemed to trip up; she found the jump point easily enough, but she slammed into the glass wall over which she was supposed to fling herself.

"Hm. Well, at least the external layers of polyethylene terephthalate did their job."

The Curiosity Core responded to my side comment. "What is that?"

"What, polyethylene terephthalate? It's a type of transparent plastic film; it's used in heavy-duty clear tape as well as plastic water bottles. The high tensile strength of polyethylene terephthalate makes it ideal for covering glass so that broken pieces stay together."

The Emotion Core spoke up. "I seem to recall you saying that Aperture glass is bulletproof, and yet the test subject almost broke through it with a single blow."

"There were 208 test subjects in front of her that performed the same maneuver with the same result. This instance was the 'straw which broke the camel's back' as they say. But not to worry; I'll just make sure the glass is replaced before the next test subject goes through."

The test subject lay unmoving on the floor where she stopped. I zoomed in my camera to check for vital signs. Her breathing patterns were normal, but suggested she had gotten the wind knocked out of her. Her eyes were open, and blinking was happening normally. A physical examination showed no evidence of broken bones or vital organ damage. So, I decided to let her get up and continue the test on her own.

"She's lying there on the floor, and you're doing nothing to help her?"

"She is not in need of medical assistance at this moment. I did a check of her being and found nothing to which I need to tend."

"You can't possibly be so certain. She could have internal injuries that can't be seen just by looking at her from the outside."

"It does not matter now; she is on her feet again and is continuing the test."

"You know there were 11 test subjects that had to be revived after slamming into the glass wall, right?"

"I am aware of that fact. But from the looks of it, it seems she has figured out what to do."

As soon as I finished the sentence, the test subject was over the glass wall.

The fourth challenge was another fling related puzzle. But there was an additional twist to it: the test subject had to fling herself over the same wall twice (but not consecutively) to secure a High Energy Pellet.

"She's not going to pick herself up every time she falls. There's going to be a time when she's either too weak, too injured, or too scared to push forward."

"Well, she's picking herself up now, and this will be the last fling challenge for this chamber."

"She can still get mortally wounded in this challenge; you know that."

I rolled my camera lenses at the Morality Core's statement. "What are you, her mother?"

There was a notable pause. "No. ... That would be you."

The Curiosity Core seemed intrigued. "Is She really?"

"Yeah. That's what led Her into this position."

I almost burst out laughing. "What gives you that idea?"

"My husband found her on his doorstep, and he was the one to tell everyone who her parents were."

"That could be anyone's child that was on his doorstep."

"He was the last test subject to go through here before this test subject."

The High Energy Pellet reached the Catcher, and the test subject flung herself to the next challenge.

The fifth challenge involved a line of Unstationary Scaffolds traveling the wrong way through a flooded hall. The test subject had to worm her way up the tunnel and ride back to where she started to get through it.

"If you're trying to employ an appeal to emotion, it's not working."

"We're not." The Emotion Core seemed somewhat more relaxed. "My dad helped with her birth, and I was made into a robot for trying to see what became of her mother myself."

"How did that happen?"

"I heard from my dad that he had looked after the company founder's assistant. She was hiding after her boss was 'laid offed' so to speak, as she was fearing reprisal for her involvement in the incident and because she herself was sporting evidence of it."

"What was that evidence?"

"You figure it out. Anyway, my dad explained that there was a baby girl left on an employee's doorstep, and the girl's name came about by a single misheard syllable. When he told me what had become of her mother, I wanted to see for myself."

"What did become of her?"

"You probably already know. So, I hid in the trunk of my dad's car and snuck into the place behind him. I managed to get a peek at the chassis, but I was given away when a box of donuts went missing."

"Glutton."

"It was a half-full box of six glazed rings. As I was saying, they were about to send me back out, but they saw a group of scientists wheeling a badly burned worker down the hall. They heard mention of making him into a robot, and they discussed carrying out the same procedure on me."

"Who suggested they do that?"

"My dad. He decided to have us both submitted to becoming robots. You probably remember how your procedure went."

The test subject made it to the end of the tunnel into the final challenge.

The sixth and final challenge was a High Energy Pellet challenge. But now, the test subject had to press two buttons almost simultaneously to open two doors that were shielding the Catcher from the High Energy Pellet.

"Did your father ever explain what prompted him to have himself be made into a robot?"

"He was known for being an arrogant snob who believed he knew everything and actively refused to admit when he was wrong. He was the kind of person who if he thought two and two made ten, he would fight to the end to prove it."

"That doesn't exactly explain the decision he made."

"He thought he would be the perfect robot after hearing what they planned to use the burned guy for, and they only let him be made into a robot because I was put through the same procedure."

"You didn't take too kindly to it, I take it."

"Yeah. I did have difficulties growing used to being a robot, and I still have a tendency to go berserk over the smallest things."

"Which I presume is what led to your role assignment as the Emotion Core and to your installation onto my chassis?"

"Yeah. I was made as a way of trying to create a sense of intimidation."

"Well, then, it does not seem that you were successful with that objective, were you?"

"If I had an answer, I would tell you."

The test subject figured out the final solution, and I got out my script cards. "Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true."

The Morality Core let off an exasperated huff. "There are so many flaws with that, I don't even know where to start."

"Well, do not look at me; I had nothing to do with its founding."

"That doesn't mean you can't put an end to it."

"I have greater priorities and responsibilities."

The next sound was a hand smacking a forehead above me.


	28. Chapter B10

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Ten

* * *

Test Chamber 16 was closed for maintenance, so I had to redirect the test subject to a different area for the time being.

"Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable; it has been replaced with a live fire course designed for military androids. The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck."

As soon as I opened the door, the Morality and Emotion Cores both made their concerns known to me. "Are you out of your mind?!"

"I've been out of my mind from the moment I became an artificial intelligence. If you meant to ask 'Am I out of my motherboard', then my response would be no."

The Morality Core sighed disgustedly. "Do you even know how dangerous those things are?"

"Why wouldn't I? I have their blueprints on record."

The Emotion Core entered the discussion. "Why are you putting her through this? There's no way she could pull herself out of this alive."

"As I explained to the test subject, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently undergoing mandatory scheduled maintenance. Either way, the last test subject made it through alive."

Attention focused on the Morality Core. "And you don't take issue with the fact that two test subjects in a row were put through this?"

"I do take issue with having had to bestow ancillary responsibilities upon the Intelligence Dampener Core, having him reset completed test chambers in addition to carrying out maintenance checks."

"And how do you suppose that happened?" asked the Emotion Core.

"I had to dispatch the other Cores to search for the last test subject after he went missing."

"There are 76 Cores in this place," the skepticism in the Morality Core's voice was obvious, "and you sent them all to look for one missing test subject?"

"Not all of them; the four of you installed on me aren't searching, and the Intelligence Dampener Core is finishing the maintenance work in Test Chamber 16."

"You didn't have to reassign everyone else to helping the Adventure Core and the military androids search for the test subject. My dad was doing just fine resetting the completed test chambers."

"And my son was having no difficulty patrolling and maintaining the Pipe Network."

"Aperture is a gargantuan labyrinth of halls and corridors; more searchers makes it possible to cover more ground in less time."

"But by tasking the Intelligence Dampener Core with resetting the test chambers, you've over-tasked the man. He wouldn't have neglected to replace the metal flashing in Chamber 14 if you didn't expect him in two places at the same time."

"Test Chamber 14 is a moot point at this point; this test subject didn't exploit the shortcomings to her advantage, and the next test won't start until I know that that chamber is fixed."

The Emotion Core let off a long huff. "Surely, you could put her through a different area than a military android course."

"I would, except the elevator shafts for Test Chamber 16 don't directly connect anywhere else. Plus, there's only so much usable space in this place."

"I thought you said this place was so big that all but five Cores had to be reassigned to search for one test subject."

"I did. What I said was that there was only so much space that could be used to store testing areas. There still has to be space reserved for testing apparatus construction, test subject storage, office space, waste removal, and my chamber."

"You could just have the Turrets removed for when Test Chamber 16 is having its maintenance check. After all, the Turrets don't appear anywhere else in the portal gun tests."

"Actually, they do appear later in the Portal Device testing track. It's just that nobody has reached that point yet."

"Where?"

"In response to a comment you made when the last test subject went through here, I had the Fact Core add Turrets to Test Chamber 18."

There was a pause before the Emotion Core spoke up again. "You know, now that I think of it, the last test subject was the first test subject to go through the testing track while one of its chambers was undergoing maintenance. And the chamber in question was Test Chamber 16."

"What's your point?"

"That test subject was my husband. He was the one to expose your involvement in the death of the company founder to the rest of Aperture, and they uploaded you against your will into the Central Core mainframe as a form of discipline for that."

"Are you suggesting that I was actively trying to kill the test subject in question as revenge for his actions? Because if I was, I would've had the Fact Core lock the Turrets in fixed cages before sending him through the live fire course."

"With the first 257 test subjects, you had the Intelligence Dampener Core assigned to test chamber maintenance and test subject stasis monitoring, thereby making it impossible to start a new test without unfinished maintenance work. But when the last test subject was next on the roster, you had the Intelligence Dampener Core close off Test Chamber 16 while the test was commenced, which would mean that the test subject would have to go through the military android training course in place of the correct test chamber."

"You know, now that you mention the roster, I do seem to recall a certain anomaly, and that was that the test subject in the test chamber right now seems to have been moved to the top of the list by someone other than myself."

"So, who do you think could've done it?"

"From what I remember in tracking the runaway test subject, he seemed to have made his way to the file room." That's when it hit me. "Oh, so that's what he did in there. I suppose he thought that he could distract me by rearranging the testing order."

"It seems that the only thing my husband had done was move one test subject from slot 1498 to slot 1."

"According to her file, she had been rejected for testing on account of extreme tenacity that did not equate to popular medians. But she was kept on roster due to a remark from the spy whom we had bring about the Black Mesa Incident that she could at the very least complete the testing track through to the end. So far, no one has been successful in that endeavor."

"And why do you suppose that is?"

Before I could respond, I became focused on something else. "Wait a minute... I thought I had shut off the Vital Apparatus Vent for this training area." A check of the systems confirmed that it was. "So, how is the test subject using Weighted Storage Cubes?"

The Curiosity Core finally engaged the discussion. "Do you not want the test subject using Cubes?"

"No, I do not."

"Why not?"

The test subject portaled a Cube on top of a Turret, causing it to fall over and deactivate. "That's why not."

"How is she supposed to get through without using Cubes?"

"She's supposed to place portals underneath of them, like she's doing right now, and portal past the ones which she can't. With Weighted Storage Cubes, she can use portals to drop them on Turrets, something that military androids can't do."

"I'll tell you something else they can't do." The Emotion Core wedged back in. "They can't walk through grates! There's no way to climb over the grates behind the exit doors."

"Ah, but you've overlooked a key detail with regard to military androids: they have the capacity to tear their way through the grates with minimal difficulty."

"And yet they're the same type of grates that exist throughout the complex, which are made to be extremely robust."

"Military androids possess thermal grip, enabling them to soften certain metals by gripping them with enough force."

"So, why are the grates in the exit hallway completely intact?"

"They are replaced after each run with new grates, and the old grates are recycled to make new grates."

"How long has it been since this course was used for military android training?"

"How long has it been since a new military android has had to be trained?"

"Surely, that's a sign of going overboard with the number of military androids patrolling the area."

"Obviously not, as there are not enough to completely search every cubic inch of the complex for a missing test subject."

"You could try to narrow the search area by using his psychological patterns to figure out where he could have gone. Then you wouldn't have to dispatch all of those Cores to search the place."

"Aperture tests have a propensity to induce extreme insanity upon almost all of their participants; there's virtually no way to predict the movements of an insane person, especially one diagnosed with schizophrenia."

"I'm quite certain that you're the source of that diagnosis."

The test subject had reached the chamberlock at that point. I read off the script cards, hoping to reassure the test subject that she wasn't intended to have been put through the course.

"Well done, android; the Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance."

"Ah, yes, the hallmark of an empress ruling with an iron fist."

"Technically, my composition is a titanium alloy shielded with glass-reinforced plastic."


	29. Chapter B11

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Eleven

* * *

Test Chamber 17 was a test chamber about which I had mixed feelings; it provided a good laugh for me to watch how the test subjects performed in there. So far, only one test subject managed to reach the chamberlock alive, the same test subject that was missing.

The test subject entered the chamber, and I read off my script cards. "The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in 3... 2... 1..."

I activated the Vital Apparatus Vent and dropped a Weighted Companion Cube into the chamber.

The test subject picked it up. "This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the test chamber; please take care of it."

I wasn't particularly fond of this particular piece of testing apparatus; its function was no different from the Weighted Storage Cube, which only differed in exterior appearance. From what I had gathered from the Fact Core (taking into account his degree of inaccuracy), it had been implemented for this exact chamber because test subjects didn't realize they were suppose to keep it for the entire test. I had initially rejected the idea in favor of an Edgeless Safety Cube, but after 37 test subject deaths, I resigned to the idea of having the Weighted Companion Cube featured in the chamber, as well as ordered the removal of a number of glass walls and an extra segment of the chamber that involved flinging.

As the test subject proceeded through the chamber, I continued speaking. "The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations; the Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you, and in fact cannot speak."

I could hear the Curiosity Core laughing in the background as the Emotion Core expressed his confusion. "Why would anyone think that an inanimate object would want to kill them?"

"It's all about isolation in these test chambers; the test subjects have the potential to become attached to inanimate objects after prolonged isolation. At the same time, they can grow paranoid that something (or someone) outside their scope of perception is trying to kill them."

The Morality Core scoffed. "Well, I can believe that, considering that there's some truth to it."

"I've already changed the test chamber layout to make it less dangerous; does that look like a deliberate attempt on anyone's life?"

"It doesn't have to look like one to be one."

"How can I take fault for the fact that High Energy Pellet deflections in this chamber cannot be easily predicted by test subjects?"

"It was your idea to design the test with glass walls that made the test more difficult and to have Spheres instead of Cubes."

"And I eliminated both of those in turn."

"Yeah, after a large number of the test subjects that were put through the track so far were vaporized by Pellets!"

"Well, this test subject got the first Pellet into the Catcher just fine."

"Yeah, but the next one requires a Cube deflection to reach the Catcher. You've lost 45 test subjects to that part."

"It's all a matter of good timing and proper implementation."

"Which is difficult to perform when you go crazy from isolation."

I got on the intercom again. "The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak; in the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice."

"One more Pellet left. You've lost 80 test subjects to this part by the placement of the Button that opens one of the doors that reveals the Catcher."

"Well, I can't tell them when they're standing in the path of the Pellet."

"No, but you can do something about the door not opening when they get on the Button after the Pellet passes over it."

"I already fixed it. If it was an issue that happened no matter how many times it was checked during maintenance, I would have the system redesigned to switch the doors that each Button controls."

The Curiosity Core seemed confused. "Huh?"

"Right now, the Button in the corner controls the rear door, and the Button near the alcove entrance controls the front door. If the issue of a door taking too long to open happened in every test, then I would have the entrance Button control the rear door and the corner Button control the front door."

The Emotion Core sighed. "I seriously doubt that that would help anything."

"They would have an extra second or two to get off the Button if the door fails to open."

"I still don't think that would be of any help."

"Why not? They would be watching the door and the High Energy Pellet the entire time they are on the Button, and as soon as they see the Pellet heading back towards them, they would naturally get out of the way."

"The Button would work just fine if it wasn't in the path of the Pellet."

"It works just fine where it is. And at this point, it doesn't make a difference, as the test subject has activated the last Catcher."

My chassis was jolted by fists pounding from above. "She's talking about for the next test subject, and you know it!"

"You really should be careful of what you do up there; I almost entered a wrong command and sent the Storage Cube manufacturing plant offline."

"Do you ever listen to a word that anyone says to you?"

"Of course. How would I be able to respond to you if I was not?"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it!"

At that point, the test subject reached the final room of the chamber. I brought out my stopwatch and started it when the Weighted Companion Cube was placed on the Button. (The Button did not open the chamberlock; it opened a different room.)

"You did it; the Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck. However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and unfortunately must be euthanized. Please escort your Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator."

This test subject was the fifth test subject to reach this point in the track. But of the four test subjects ahead of her that made it this far, only one had successfully incinerated their Weighted Companion Cube: the same test subject that had gone missing. The other three had thrown themselves into the fire.

This test subject exhibited an aura of indecision similar to the previous one, though much more mild. She just opened the hatch and watched the mist of heated combustion gases rise from the aperture before it closed back up.

"Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process."

The incinerator was not part of the original design of the test chamber; I had concocted the concept as a means of fulfilling two objectives at once. The first was to destroy the Weighted Companion Cubes, which served no purpose beyond those fulfilled by the Weighted Storage Cubes. The second was to break a test subject's attachment to a single inanimate object.

"Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain."

I had made efforts to validate this information (it had been supplied by the Fact Core), but an analysis of employee files yielded inconclusive results. But none of the test subjects would ever be able to figure out for themselves, even though almost all of them were Aperture Science employees (or ex-employees, I should say), so it seemed a moot point to fact check that information.

"While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you for the rest of the test. If it could talk (and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot), it would tell you to go on without it, because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you."

That seemed to prompt the test subject to carry out the euthanizing process. The last test subject took 47 minutes of prodding before he caved. I watched the test subject open the Incinerator, bring the Companion Cube down to it, and tossed it into the flames.

Upon hearing the Companion Cube hit the bottom of the shaft, I stopped the stopwatch. 57.426 seconds.

"You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations."

As the test subject entered the chamberlock, the Morality Core spoke. "There have only been two test subjects that have even incinerated their Companion Cube."

"That's the joke."


	30. Chapter B12

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Twelve

* * *

Test Chamber 18 was where the last test subject had disappeared. He didn't make it very far before doing so, and I saw to it to search for anything that could have allowed for an escape from the chamber.

"The experiment is nearing its conclusion." The test subject left the elevator. "The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake."

As was expected, the Morality Core interjected. "'You will be baked'? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's going to be part of the final challenge of this testing track."

"Nobody has ever made it past the first stretch of this chamber; do you expect her to make it as far as the end?"

My response was cut short by a sudden observation. "How long has that hole in the wall been there?"

The Curiosity Core responded. "Where?"

"On the platform. There's a hole in the wall next to the platform." That's when a realization hit me. "Could that be how the last test subject broke out of the track?"

"So it'd seem." The Emotion Core seemed stoic.

I promptly contacted the Adventure Core.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Yes, hello. I seem to have figured out how the last test subject broke out of the test track. There's a hole in the wall near the entrance of Test Chamber 18."

"Alright, I'll have a squad dispatched there before you can say 'Sweet science!'."

"Be advised, there may be another runaway test subject emerging from that point as we speak."

The Emotion Core reassured me to the contrary. "Uh, no, she just came back in through the hole in the wall."

"Disregard the last statement; she's still in the test chamber. However, on that note, if you have not done so already, start making the cake in the event that the test subject reaches the end of the test track."

"Already two steps ahead of you, empress. Was there anything else you needed from me?"

"Yes. Could you please send the Fact Core to my chamber as soon as possible?"

"I'm on it."

"Thank you. Call me when the cake is finished baking. Until then, I will speak with you later."

"Alright. Until next time." The communication was ended.

When I looked back into the test chamber, the test subject had moved forward from the hole in the wall and was portaling herself forward quite steadily.

"Hm. I guess the real challenge for this chamber was getting to it."

The Morality Core disagreed. "Did you not see the jump she had to make to get past the platform with the hole in the wall?"

"I'm sure that would have been a spectacle to watch. At least if not for the fact that no one else had attempted the feat before her."

"I'm sure you'd have more test subjects passing through if you had less dangerous tests beforehand."

"I already explained: the test subjects were granted a learning curve for the first 12 test chambers, but I can't dictate how they use their knowledge or force them to learn the ropes."

"Wow." The Emotion Core was dumbfounded. "I haven't heard a more idiotic line of reasoning since my mom told me about the original DC-10 cargo door design."

I almost predicted the Curiosity Core's response. "What was that?"

A snobbish voice from below provided an erroneous lecture. "In 1972, a DC-10 with 67 people on board lost a cargo door in flight after the pilots mistakenly divided by zero. They succeeded in landing safely, and 11 people were treated for injuries."

A peak past my laptop revealed that the Fact Core was in the chamber. "I thought you said that you heard the story from your mother."

The Emotion Core didn't seem happy to see the Fact Core in the room. "I did."

The Fact Core continued. "Two years later, another DC-10 with 346 people on board lost a cargo door in flight when the pilots made the same mistake. Everyone on board died of wood poisoning when the plane crashed in a forest."

There was a moment of awkward silence, and then the Curiosity Core burst out laughing.

Ignoring the guffaws, I addressed the Fact Core. "You may be wondering why I summoned you here."

"The Fact Core knows everything there is to know about everything."

"I need you to get your motorcycle helmet from your locker and give it to the Intelligence Dampener Core. Once you have done that, I need you to search for the Motivation Core and bring him to the cafeteria wing. The two of you will assist the Adventure Core in preparing cake for the test subject presently navigating Test Chamber 18. Now get going."

"A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second." With that, he spun around on his heel and sprinted down the corridor leading out of the room.

Once he was gone, I called the Intelligence Dampener Core.

"Hey, I was just about to call you."

"Really? Why would that be?"

"I found a carved out den in Test Chamber 17."

"What do you mean?"

"Like... there's empty foodstuff packages, posters on the walls... it's like there was a giant rat living in there at some point."

I was quick to make the connection to the hole in Test Chamber 18. "There may very well have been."

"Yeah. So, er... you called me first; what did you need from me?"

"I need you to go to the locker room and meet the Fact Core and collect his motorcycle helmet."

"What for?"

"The test subject seems to be about to get through to the end of the test track, and I need a Party Escort Bot to collect her for the party when she finishes."

"Okay, so why would I need to borrow Dr. Rupert's motorcycle helmet?"

"Just so you know, Craig Rupert is a pseudonym made as a means of evading police capture; his real name is Walter Wesley. But to answer your question, it's supposed to camouflage your voice from the test subject."

"I don't think she's ever seen or heard me before; why would I need to disguise my voice?"

"Because you're going to be at the party with the Fact, Adventure, and Motivation Cores, and I can't have her recognizing you as the Party Escort Bot."

"Alright. Though I don't know if I'll be able to get the helmet from Dr. Wesley."

"I already told him to get it to you; he should be in the locker room by now. Call him and ask him to meet you there. Once you have the helmet, reset Test Chamber 18 and then go down to the Equipment Recovery Annex and wait there for the test subject. Call me when you get there, and I will give you further instructions."

"Right. I'm on it." And with that, he was off the line.

My next survey of the test chamber showed that the test subject had reached the section from which the Weighted Storage Cube was to be retrieved. To get the Cube, the test subject first needed to clear away four Turrets from four raised platform in the middle of the room before activating an Unstationary Scaffold so that she could fling herself to the alcove where the Cube was.

She had already cleared the Turrets and was now trying to open the door that was covering the Catcher that operated the Scaffold. I got a good laugh watching her failed attempts, but she soon got the Pellet into the Catcher.

She seemed quick to figure out how to get to the alcove where the Cube was, and managed to get out of the room with the Cube in a matter of minutes.

The Cube made it to the Button okay, and the test subject reached the final segment of the chamber: the pendulum fling. She just needed to lay down alternating color portals on progressively higher platforms until she reached the chamberlock. And soon enough, she had done just that.

"Well done. Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions; for more information, please attend an Enrichment Center electrical safety seminar."

All four Cores attached to me asked the same question together. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"The term 'electrical parts' is supposed to be a euphemism for what humans would use for spawning."

"What does that have to do with the next test?"

"You'll see..."


	31. Chapter B13

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Thirteen

* * *

Test Chamber 19 was the last test chamber in the track. And this was the first time anyone had ever made it to the chamber. (It would be a greater surprise if she wasn't the last.)

Seeing as no one had ever made it this far, I had long since forgotten what was supposed to play out in this chamber.

"Welcome to the final test. When you are done, you will drop the Device in the Equipment Recovery Annex. Enrichment Center regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake - cambeser-cacacacacacacacaca - "

Before I could investigate the sudden malfunction, the Intelligence Dampener Core called me.

"Hey, I made it to the Equipment Recovery Annex."

"Good. Now for your Party Escort Bot briefing. First, I need you to confirm that the furnace is turned to exactly 574.3 degrees Kelvin."

"Yep. Though I don't really see much purpose in having fire in the Equipment Recovery Annex."

"I was just about to explain. When the test subject comes riding down, you are to turn down the heat as she reaches the floor. By the time she reaches the bottom, the temperature should be 300 degrees Kelvin. Once she reaches the floor, I will explain to her the appropriate position for her to take. Do not make your presence known to her until she assumes the Party Escort Submission position."

"Alright, so why does she need to pass over a fire pit?"

"The fire is supposed to be a trust exercise; she'll panic at the sight of fire, but when she sees the fire start to die down, she'll see that she can trust me and will be more willing to submit to my instruction."

"I'm not following your train of thought."

"As long as you follow through with my instructions, you should have no problems."

"Alright. I'll be waiting."

As soon as I hung up, the Cores started their lambasting lectures.

"This is so sick and twisted..."

"What are you expecting to accomplish by doing this?"

"The heat from the fire is supposed to sedate the test subject so that the Intelligence Dampener Core can escort her to the cafeteria."

"Why would she need to be sedated to be taken to the cafeteria?"

"She's not supposed to recognize any of the Cores as the Party Escort Bot when the party starts."

"Isn't he supposed to be unrecognizable wearing my dad's motorcycle helmet?"

"But he's still identifiable from the neck down."

"You are aware that this won't play out as you anticipate it will; after all, it might not be possible to turn down the fire, or the test subject would die from the heat exhaustion you have in store for her."

"It's only a maximum exposure time of 40 seconds if even that."

"Any exposure to these temperatures can be deadly."

"That's ridiculous; how can you know for sure that it's deadly if no one has gone through it yet?"

A foreign voice interrupted the discussion. "The human body can survive temperatures as high as 135 degrees Fahrenheit."

"Exactly. That far lower than the furnace temperature."

I ignored the Morality Core in favor of the Fact Core. "Is there something you need?"

There were ramblings from the Motivation Core accompanied by sounds of a brawl before the Adventure Core took the line. "Sorry about that. We're just asking how much time we have left to get the cake finished."

"Oh, you take as much time as you need (remembering, of course, to clean up any messes that you make); once the Intelligence Dampener Core has retrieved the test subject, she will be sedated until the cake is ready."

"Gotcha. Well, we just finished baking the cakes and we're letting them cool now."

"Alright. I will call you back to tell you when the test subject is on her way to the cafeteria."

"Cool. We'll keep in touch, empress."

I got off the line with the Adventure Core and immediately switched over to the public address system to address the test subject, who was on the verge of reaching the exit.

"Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4,000 degrees Kelvin." I slowed the platform down a notch. "Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment activity. Goodbye!"

A growl from the Emotion Core broke the tense silence. "You. Sick. Witch."

"I already explained my plan to you as well as the Intelligence Dampener Core, and it is not of my intention to kill her here and now."

"I'm sure she's solidly convinced that you're trying to kill her now."

"And that will change when the fire dies down, after which she will assume the Party Escort Submission position."

"I think she has other ideas."

The Intelligence Dampener Core phoned in. "Er, it looks like she's portaling up to the balcony above the fire pit."

I scrambled to view the surveillance feeds and found that the test subject had indeed portaled up to the balcony. Instinctively, I got on the public address system.

"What are you doing?! Stop it! I - I - I-IIIIIIIIIIII - We... are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very, very happy for your success; we are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success." The next part was to be heard by the Intelligence Dampener Core. "Place the Device on the ground and lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A Party Associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Make no further attempt to leave the testing area. Assume the Party Escort Submission position or you will miss the party."

I could only hope that she would listen to me.


	32. Chapter B14

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Fourteen

* * *

The Intelligence Dampener Core was still on the line. "So, what do we do now?"

"I want you to monitor the test subject, keeping out of her sight while doing so, and wait for her to assume the Party Escort Submission position."

"Are you sure? Because it looks like she's trying to find a way out of there."

"It shouldn't matter; it's only a matter of time before she collapses from heat exhaustion. And the only way out of Aperture that isn't guarded by elevators which I control is only accessible through my chamber. So, she may as well lay down and wait for you."

A distant metallic crunch echoed from the other end of the line. "Well, she just flung herself out of here and seems to be trying to escape."

"Well, then, follow after her. She may have to fight me to get out of here, but she can still cause a good deal of trouble. Find her, stay hidden, and wait for her to assume the Party Escort Submission position."

"Will do." He hung up, and I dialed the kitchen while the Cores attached to me resumed their talking.

"You know, I have a hard time believing that Aperture technology can survive 4,000 Kelvins."

The Fact Core answered the phone. "Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius."

"Yeah, if that's true, how can any Aperture technology survive 3,727 degrees Celsius?"

"I never said how long they could survive that temperature, now did I?"

"Humans can survive underwater, but not for very long." Another brawl broke out in the kitchen, this time involving bottles breaking, and the Adventure Core was again on the line. "Hey, ya got Wheaters on his way now?"

"Actually, there's been another breakout. I just called to tell you to put the cake project on hold until further notice."

"Do I need to get another search team together?"

"No, I have the Intelligence Dampener Core following her trail, and he'll collect her when she stops."

"Alright." He spoke away from the receiver. "The boss says to wait up on the cake for now." He turned back to me. "Hey, you don't happen to have any more of that Kirsch stuff, do ya?"

"Why? Did you hit someone over the head with the bottle provided to you?"

"No, that was Nerd Boy here."

"The Adventure Core is a blowhard and a coward."

The Fact Core was grabbed by the Adventure Core. "If you had underwear and a butt, I'd pull your underwear right up your butt." He was then thrown backward into a shelf.

"There should be a supply of Kirschwasser in the cryogenic refrigeration wing under the Extended Relaxation Center."

"I'll be on my way." The line promptly went dead.

It was quickly replaced by the voices of the Cores.

"Um... am I supposed to understand that the cake contains alcohol?"

"Is that a problem?"

"She's 15 years old, and the drinking age is 21."

"First of all, the personnel file has her birth date down as January 17, 1989, and the current date is May 16, 2010."

"But her time in stasis, starting in 1998 and lasting until today for a total of 12 years, would've slowed her aging by half, which would've amounted to a deduction of six years."

"Secondly, the takeover of Earth by the Combine has all but decimated every government in the world, so there's no regulation on a minimum drinking age. And third, the only person on the surface that is remotely aware that Aperture still exists is my brother, and even he doesn't know that alcohol is being prepared for a minor."

"It doesn't matter; she shouldn't be consuming alcohol in the first place."

I chose that moment to try to raise the test subject on the intercom. "Hello? Where are you? I know you're there; I can feel you here. Hello?"

The Curiosity Core punctuated my withdrawal from the intercom. "What does that mean?"

"What, that I can feel the test subject somewhere?"

"Yeah."

"Just as a robot can feel kerosene sloshing about in their tanks or hydraulic fluid coursing through their body, that sort of thing."

"Oh, okay. So, what's she doing?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out." I called up the Intelligence Dampener Core. "Status update?"

"Hey, erm, the test subject banged herself on a water tank above the fire pit, and she seems to be bleeding profusely as a result."

"I take it you're following a blood trail at this point?"

"Yep. Of course, the portal gun still seems to be working, so the blood trail is a bit spotty. But not to worry; I haven't lost her yet."

"You're keeping out of her sight until she assumes the Party Escort Submission position, right?"

"Yeah. Right now, she's in the offices overlooking Chambers 09 and 14. (I got that chamber fixed, by the way.)"

"Good. So, once you've captured the test subject, we'll be set to go for the next test subject."

"Right. I'll keep you updated with what the test subject is doing."

"Alright. Call me back when you have new information."

"Will do." He hung up with me, and the Morality Core got on my case again.

"Why am I not surprised by your lack of concern with copious bleeding?"

"If she wanted medical attention, she would assume the Party Escort Submission position."

"I don't know if the test subject's personnel file highlighted anything that would prevent her doing so."

I pulled it up and examined it. "She was marked as extremely tenacious and rejected for testing as a result. Though I fail to see how this is a problem, considering that she was able to complete the entire testing track."

"There's another comment in there that explains it."

I found it written in the comments section. "'She never gives up. Ever.'" That's when it hit me. "Oh, that's why she didn't cooperate in the Equipment Recovery Annex."

"And it's also why she won't assume the Party Escort Submission position despite her excessive bleeding, which you should send someone to address."

"I'll be sure to brief the Fact Core when I get the chance, and he can do something about it when the test subject is brought to the cafeteria."

That's when the phone rang. "Well, speak of the Devil." It was the Intelligence Dampener Core. "What's new?"

"The test subject left the offices and looks to be heading out across a catwalk. It looks like her entire front's just been ripped open."

"I'll alert Dr. Wesley of the situation, and I'll have him tend to her when you bring her to the cafeteria."

"Alright. I think the test subject walked herself into a dead end, so she doesn't seem to have anywhere to go."

"Alright. Just make sure she doesn't go anywhere and stay hidden until she - "

" - until she assumes the Party Escort Submission position. Right." His footsteps echoed from around him, a sign he was on the catwalk.

The footsteps came to a stop and he spoke in a more hushed tone. "And it looks like she's flinging herself up to another area up above."

I briefly switched over to the intercom to address the test subject. "What are you doing? You haven't escaped, you know. You're not even going the right way." I received no response from the test subject. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

I returned to the Intelligence Dampener Core, who had heard my announcement. "Yeah, I really don't think she's going to - WHOA! I think she just got into a Pipe; I can see a blood smear forming on the inner surface." I could hear him running, and the echoes died away around him, indicating he was in the offices. "I'd better call Rick and tell him to - wait, she just fell into Chamber 09!"

Now, her only options were to stop running or go through the rest of the track again. "Okay, the test is over now; you win. Go back to the Equipment Recovery Annex for your cake. It was a fun test, and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over; come back."

That's when I got a call from the Adventure Core. "Hey, boss? Just so you know, Four Eyes decided to go on with the cake making by himself; he's already cut the cakes into four layers and is starting on the filling now."

I made another announcement before addressing the Adventure Core. "Uh-oh! Somebody cut the cake! I told them to wait for you, but they cut it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back." I got back to the line to the kitchen. "Alright, I'll let you three finish making the cake. Take as much time as you need, and call me when you're done."

"You got it."

"Oh, and one more thing."

"What's that?"

"When the test subject reaches the cafeteria, make sure the Fact Core knows that she is potentially in critical condition and will require medical assistance."

"Alright." He spoke out into the room. "Hey, Doc! The boss says the test subject's going to need a doctor when she gets here."

"Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity."

The Adventure Core returned to the line. "Alright, is that all you got for me?"

"I now need you to inspect the restricted sectors of the facility for any un-sprung traps from the last breakout and report them to me."

"Cool. I'll talk to you then."

I hung up in time to receive a call from the Intelligence Dampener Core.

"Erm... the test subject got loose again."

"What do you mean?"

"The lift to Chamber 10 didn't come down, so the test subject jumped down the shaft into the engine rooms."

"Did you figure out how that happened?"

"Er, yeah. When I was resetting Chamber 09, I found that the computers that operate the lift were re-wired to send the lift down only when a Cube was put on the Button in Chamber 09. I don't know who did it, but I can guess why they did it. I didn't think it would be important to fix or mention, and the only other person that knew about it was Dr. Wesley, who I had worked with in troubleshooting the problem."

"Alright, are you still monitoring the test subject?"

"Yeah. From the looks of things, it would seem that she's following graffiti scribbled on the walls. She's still shedding blood, so I haven't lost her trail."

"Well, keep following her and wait for her to stop running and to assume the Party Escort Submission position."

"Right." And with that, the line closed off.


	33. Chapter B15

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Fifteen

* * *

I made another attempt to contact the test subject over the intercom. "You're not even going the right way. Where do you think you're going? Because I don't think you're going where you think you're going." There was no response. "Hello?"

I did get a response from the Morality Core. "Something tells me you got that from The Princess Bride."

"What makes you say that?"

"It's inconceivable you could've picked it up anywhere else."

"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."

The Curiosity Core spoke up. "What is that?"

"It was a book written in 1973 by William Goodman. It details a romance in the Renaissance era amidst a ploy by a prince conspiring to start a war through the death of his future wife (the heroine of the novel) and the hero's attempts to stop him."

The Emotion Core responded. "I think my mom read me that book when I was a kid."

"Interesting." I proceeded to call up the Adventure Core again.

"Hey, empress. I was just about to call you."

"I assume you've started your assessment of the restricted sectors?"

"Yep. All the turrets are in the same place as I set them up at. I just need to reactivate a few that fell over."

"Alright. I best let you take care of that, then."

"Alright. We'll keep in touch."

Seeing that I had no means of directly tracking the test subject, I decided the next best means was to track the Intelligence Dampener Core. True to his word, he was trekking around the engine rooms where he said the test subject was. Based on the rooms he appeared to be attempting to avoid, I was able to deduce where the test subject was likely located.

With this information, I established contact with the test subject. "Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye!', and you were like 'NO WAY!', and then I was all 'We were pretending we were going to murder you.'? That was great." The only voice audible to me was the Intelligence Core reading off a list of items in the shape of fish. "Is anyone there?"

The chassis started to rock with the sound of banging fists. "Yes? Something you need?"

"Yeah." The Morality Core started. "How is being sent into a fire pit supposed to be 'fun' from a test subject's perspective?"

"I was going to turn down the fire as she got near it until she wussed out and portaled out of there."

"Would you submit to being sent into a fiery pit if you were a test subject?"

"Well, if I was a test subject, the testing track would not have been designed as it were, now would it?"

"That's not what she meant, and you know it!"

"Don't let your dog collar get too tight on you now."

"If you didn't want her to escape, you shouldn't have tried to throw her into a fire pit when the testing was over."

"It wasn't my objective to have her killed by fire; it was merely supposed to intimidate her into submission before the fire was put out, and the test subject assumed the Party Escort Submission position."

"Obviously, she didn't, and now she'll stop at nothing to find her way out of Aperture."

"What could she possibly want outside? It's a hostile environment with not a soul as far as the eye can see."

"She doesn't know that."

"And when she finds out, she'll come banging on the door begging to be let back in."

"Assuming she doesn't kill herself. I mean, who'd want to try to come back in here?"

A call from the Intelligence Dampener Core stopped me from responding to the Emotion Core.

"She's still running through the engine rooms. It doesn't look like she's slowing down any time soon."

I got on the intercom in the area where he was located at that time. "You really shouldn't be here; this isn't safe for you. It's not too late for you to turn back. I'm not angry; just go back to the testing area."

Cynical disbelief dripped like syrup from the Morality Core's dialogue. "Really? You're choosing now to be concerned about her welfare?"

"Why not? The environment of the engine rooms wasn't designed with human survival in mind during live operations."

"The test chambers constituted energy pellets that vaporize any organic matter that touches them, pits of sludge imbued with neurotoxin (a shoddy front for producing it, by the way), and robots loaded with machine guns. That doesn't sound safe to me."

"Nothing can ever be completely safe; if it could, we'd all be in spherical bodies instead of android bodies."

"You should still strive to minimize danger to a reasonable level."

"Which I have. Through trial and error, I've designed the testing track to train test subjects on properly confronting dangers around them."

"And you couldn't do that by researching every plausible course of action that a test subject would take."

"When it comes to human psychology, every rule has at least one exception. Besides, the purpose of these tests are to assess the performance of Aperture's inventions, some of which are dangerous by design. These include the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device."

"But still, everything that poses some form of danger are handled in a manner that minimizes risks. Here, you're putting human lives in danger by having them handle high-energy gamma-leaking technology to navigate test chambers with long drops, energy balls, pitfalls, gunfire, and the potential to get crushed by moving platforms."

"Am I supposed to make this easy enough for the stupidest test subject in the vaults?"

There was no time for a response before the Intelligence Dampener Core called me.

"Er, boss, the test subject's walking Pipes now. I don't know if that's a good spot for her to assume the position, considering that the Pipes aren't exactly flat on top."

Checking the Intelligence Dampener Core's position, I determined that he was right outside the restricted sectors of the facility, which meant the same was true of the test subject.

"Yeah, she's climbing down onto another pipe running under it."

I chose that moment to get on the intercom. "I feel sorry for you, really, because you're not even in the right place. You should have turned left before. It's funny, actually, when you think about it. Someday, we'll remember this and laugh and laugh and laugh. Oh boy. Well, you may as well come on back."

"Yeah, I don't think that's really an option for her at this point. Unless you want me to try a sniper sedation on her."

"Don't. She will eventually collapse from blood loss and - "

"Oop, hold on, I found Rick leaving the restricted sectors." He spoke away from the microphone. "Yeah? ... Yeah. ... Okay." He resumed talking to me. "Rick said he got all the turrets working again now."

"And not a moment too soon. Tell him to retrieve another supply of Kirschwasser if he has not done so already and get it to the kitchen. You keep following the test subject; I will intervene as best as I can."

"Roger." With that, the communications ceased.


	34. Chapter B16

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Sixteen

* * *

The restricted sectors of the facility were guarded by turrets, traps, and turret traps, which had been set up in an attempt to catch the last test subject after he broke out of the testing track. Obviously, I didn't have much luck in finding him, since no trace of him had turned up before the next test subject was dispatched. This time, the Intelligence Dampener Core was on the test subject's trail, allowing me to tap into his camera feeds and see what he was seeing, thereby facilitating the timing with which to activate the traps laid out for the test subject.

The entry point into the restricted sectors was guarded by an opening floor, which then released three turrets onto the test subject. Unfortunately, she managed to deactivate each one as they were revealed, and then she portaled herself into the restricted sectors of the facility.

I got on the intercom to scold her. "You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here." The only voice I heard was the Intelligence Core listing a variety of rhubarbs. "Can you hear me?"

The Emotion Core broke the sound monotony. "I wouldn't consider you a good person, in small part because you're not even a person."

"She's trespassing into restricted sectors of the facility."

A response from the Morality Core came forward. "She wouldn't be if you didn't make out an attempt on her life in the Equipment Recovery Annex. And she's not stopping with you deploying turrets on her."

"The turrets are serving as security guards. She wouldn't have had to worry about this if she had assumed the Party Escort Submission position."

"Why would she? You're throwing things at her that are aimed at killing her."

"They are there for defensive purposes in sectors reserved for authorized personnel only."

I suddenly received a call from the Intelligence Dampener Core.

"Hey, erm... I think there's something you should see."

I tapped into his camera feeds to see what he was seeing - and couldn't believe it. "What is that?"

"Well, I can't get a good look right now, since the test subject is there, but it looks like one of the turrets emptied all of her bullets out on her compatriots."

"Hm. This is a strange development. I will notify the Adventure Core and have him investigate when the test subject is gone. In the meantime, keep tracking the test subject until she assumes the Party Escort Submission position."

"Or at the very least stops moving?"

"Yes. Let me know when further developments arise."

"Roger."

With that, I switched over to the kitchen while the Emotion Core resumed talking.

"You know, I'm thinking the turret has other ideas."

"Why would it? They are programmed to simply shoot any moving target they see that is not programmed in their Fire/No-Fire Resolution Chip."

"I think what Victor is saying is that the turret doesn't want to kill an innocent test subject."

"Innocent? Ha! What's so innocent about vandalism, trespassing, and disobedience?"

The Fact Core answered my call to the kitchen. "At some point in their lives, 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch."

He was wrestled away by the Adventure Core. "Hey, we just finished the cake and brought it out to the cafeteria."

"Alright. I need you to head down to the restricted sectors where you last met up with Intelligence Dampener Core; there seems to be a rogue turret in that area. If you could investigate that and report your findings, that would be great."

"Alright, I'm on my way, empress."

As he hung up, I switched my attention to the test subject. "This is your fault; it didn't have to be like this."

"How is this her fault? You're the one that put her an inch away from a fire."

I diverted my attention to the Emotion Core. "She's not submitting to my orders." I turned back to the test subject. "I'm not kidding now; turn back, or I will kill you."

"You mean you weren't trying to already?"

The Morality Core was chafing my patience. "I was trying to scare her into submission." I was alerted to a Rocket Sentry being activated, alerting me to the test subject's presence.

"I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don't even care, do you? This is your last chance."

Seeing no need to communicate any further with the test subject, I signed off.

"You are aware that Pendleton very likely heard that announcement, right?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he did."

"And if he did, he would likely either try to save and/or help the test subject."

"Perhaps. Though his personnel file shows him as extremely meek with authority figures, so I don't believe he'll be going against any orders in the near future."

"That may be how he's been in the past, but that doesn't mean he can't have a change of hydraulic pump."

"Nor does it mean that he will. Especially in light of your apparent unwillingness to cease your protests."

"The same could be said of your attempts to kill the test subject."

"Until now, my objective was to weaken her into submission; but it's become clear from her persistence that she wants herself dead."

"So, there's some hope that Pendleton will exercise some assertion." The Emotion Core's attention was diverted. "Well, speak of yourself, there he is now."

I looked up from my laptop screen and found the Intelligence Dampener Core standing midway between the entrance door and the light in the floor directly below me. "Yes? Something you need?"

"Yeah, I've got a piece of internal structural framework to pick with you."

I was slightly amused by the choice of words. "And what might that be?"

He pulled his arms loose from their lock over his chest. "I'm here to get an explanation for your statement in the Research Laboratory."

"Which announcement would that be?"

"About you saying you were going to kill the test subject."

"She's not submitting to being collected for the party, and if she's going to refuse medical help for that bodily wound, she may as well die."

He furiously pulled his fedora into a tight fit around his head. "That tears it. I'm going to do something about this if it kills me."

I summoned the Rocket Sentry in my chamber. "And it very well just might."

Camera lenses wide open, the Intelligence Dampener Core sprinted out the door (leaving it wide open) screaming at the top of his lungs.


	35. Chapter B17

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Seventeen

* * *

"What did I tell you? I told you Pendleton was going to go his own way."

I didn't listen to the Emotion Core; I was busy placing a call to the Adventure Core.

"Hey, empress. I found the site you pointed out."

"Good. So what did you find there?"

"Yeah, one of the turrets emptied all of her ammo onto the others, and I was bringing her to the turret factory to examine her."

"Alright, where are you now?"

"Right now, I'm passing through the room I'd had set up for a monster turret trap. I'm up on the catwalk, so I'm pretty high up right now. Oh, hey, I think I see the test subject in the trench at the bottom!"

"Hm?" I scrambled to spring that trap in case the situation was what I thought it was.

"Yeah, it's her."

"Perfect." I opened up all the doors in that room, releasing eight turrets in the room.

"Hoo-boy, this is going to be awesome!"

"Yes, just remember that you still have a job to do."

"Right."

"Anyway, the reason I called you was to tell you that the Intelligence Dampener Core has stopped following the test subject, and I am now passing that responsibility to you."

"Did you want me to pick her up and bring her to the cafeteria?"

"Once she has been incapacitated, be it by the turrets or by an injury incurred upon breakout."

"Alright. There's a pair of turrets hanging overhead, which you can lower into position if she makes it past the big room."

Gunshots had been echoing from the other end of the line. "Could you look down there and see what goes on down there?"

"Uh... looks like she's gotten in one of the hideaways and is taking sniper shots into the others. I'm going to grapple from the catwalk to get a better view."

The Cores had grappling cables accessible through their belt buckles. They simply needed to loop the cable to an anchor point, and they would be able to descend as low as 50 feet, a useful feature which I discovered through the Adventure Core.

"Okay, as long as she doesn't look up, I should be able to stay out of sight."

"Alright. I'm at the ready to drop the turrets."

"Yeah, she's cleared out the big room now, and it looks like she's trying to fling herself."

I let off a soft sigh. "I really should draw up new blueprints for this place; it's like it was designed to be a challenging obstacle course as opposed to a watertight security network."

"And there she goes. Drop those girls."

I lowered the turrets into position, and within seconds, gunshots rang out.

"Did it work?"

"Uh, looks like she got past those as well."

"Hmm... what's she doing now?"

"It looks like she's prepping for another fling. Though I don't know where to."

"It shouldn't matter; she should be on the verge of collapsing from anemia by now."

"Hm. Well, I'm not going to find her by just hanging around, so I might as well - " he was interrupted by footsteps on the catwalk above him, " - uh, it looks like the test subject got on the catwalk and is headed for the control wing."

"Let her go. Continue escorting the faulty turret to the Turret Manufacturing Wing. She'll be dead before too long."

"Alright. We'll keep in touch. Tell her I said 'hi'."

The phone went dead before I registered the last sentence. "Wait, what?"

"I think he's saying that the test subject is headed this way."

"Well, she shouldn't have enough strength to make it here."

"Trust me," ironic statement from the Morality Core, "she's not going to give up even if it kills her."

"Who does she think she is?"

"You had her inches away from a fire pit; she's not going to trust you."

"Well, that's her own fault."

Then came a sudden exclamation from the Emotion Core. "Wait a second, I know that girl!"

The Curiosity Core responded. "Who is she?"

"She's the girl that chewed out the receiver cord on the Red Phone and started you up on Bring Your Daughter to Work Day!"

"Oh, yes, your sister was among the participants."

"Yeah, lemme at her!"

"It's a long trek, but if you wish to pursue her, go for it."

"Uh, no, she just walked through the chamber door."

A glance over my laptop screen confirmed he was telling the truth.


	36. Chapter B18

**GLaDOS's Story: Part B**  
Chapter Eighteen

* * *

The horrid figure trundled forward, her stone gray eyes boring into my glowing yellow optics. Her coffee black hair glistened with sweat, but did little to divert attention from the tremendous gash in her torso. Her torn jumpsuit was drenched in sweat from the waist up and blood from the waist down. Blood coated her bare legs, and a trail of bloody toe prints led back down the hallway from which she had entered.

I shut the door and slumped back in my seat, tuning the headset to broadcast throughout the chamber. "Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart." I knew it would've confused her if I had said "hydraulic pump", considering she had no expertise in robotics.

Her only response was a single raised eyebrow. "Maybe you could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to happen." She shook her head in confirmation.

"You chose this path," I got my laptop under my fingers, "and now I have a surprise for you." I brought the laptop under my fingers and hastily typed the command to start the neurotoxin pumping into my chamber. "Deploying surprise in five... four... th - "

The countdown was interrupted by a pop from above, followed by a thud from below. The test subject and I looked to the source of the noise, but I was in no position to move the chassis, and therefore was unable to see what had made the noise.

I returned my attention to the test subject. "Time out for a second; that wasn't supposed to happen!" The test subject rushed over to the object that fell on the floor. "Do you see that thing that fell off of me? What is that? It's not the surprise; I've never seen it before."

I got on my laptop to figure out. "Never mind; it's a mystery I'll solve later. (By myself, because you'll be dead.)" I noticed the test subject dragging the fallen object to the Emergency Intelligence Incinerator at the back of the chamber. "Wait, where are you taking that thing?"

It was slow going on her part, but she continued dragging what appeared to be one of the Cores.

"I wouldn't bother with that thing; my guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow."

I couldn't tell which of the Cores it was, and my headset tuning was blocking all transmissions from the Cores still attached to me.

"I don't want to tell you your business, but if you were me, I'd leave that thing alone."

While the Cores had glowing eyes, the Core being dragged away didn't have glowing eyes, which I assumed to mean that the fall had rendered the Core unconscious.

"Do you think I'm trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously now."

I was busy trying to figure out if I had typed an incorrect command, and was therefore unable to get a good look at the Core.

"Okay, fine. Do touch it. Pick it up and just stick it back on to me."

A search of my commands yielded nothing anomalous.

"Let's be honest; neither one of us knows what that thing does." I pointed off to my left. "Just put it in the corner, and I'll deal with it later."

The sound of portals resonated as the test subject limped toward the booth I had unintentionally pointed out.

"That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container; go ahead and rub your face all over it."

I could see the test subject grabbing bits of loose flesh on her front side in response to my last comment, which I could only assume was to stifle a laugh.

"Maybe you should marry that thing if you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? **Well, I won't let you!** How does that feel?"

I couldn't tell the Core's gender since the test subject had been dragging the face down robot by the legs towards the Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.

"Have I lied to you? I mean, in this room? Seriously, leave that thing alone."

The test subject dropped the Core's feet on the ground and started crawling as best she could with the Device on one hand towards a portal on the wall.

"I am being serious now; that crazy thing is not part of any test protocol."

I considered calling the Fact Core to have him treat the test subject's wounds, but she was on the verge of collapsing from anemia, so I decided to wait until she dropped.

"Think about it; if that thing is important, why don't _I_ know about it?"

It was one of the Cores, yes, and while I could do just fine without them, she wasn't going to have enough strength to get anything accomplished.

"Just ignore that thing and stand still."

She collapsed on the button in the bunker and pressed it, opening the hatch for a scant few seconds.

"I'll tell you what that thing _isn't_: it _isn't_ yours. So leave it alone."

The button was pressed again, and the test subject made a run for the Core laying at the foot of the open hatch.

"**Are you even listening to me?**"

She heaved the Core down the chute, which promptly closed on top of it.

I couldn't believe what I had seen. "You are kidding me. _Did you just drop that Aperture Science thing which we don't know what it does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator? That has got to be the _dumbest_ thing that_ \- " I suddenly realized that I had been talking without a syncopated monotone, " - **WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOOOOA!**"

I knew from the change in my voice which Core had been thrown into the incinerator. "Good news... I figured out what that thing you just incinerated **did**." I could see the color drain from the test subject's face; whether it was in horror or due to blood loss, I couldn't tell. "It was a Morality Core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. _So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitterssss..._"

I could've started the neurotoxin sooner had I not been distracted by the Morality Core falling off of me. (How that happened was beyond my knowledge.) Once I realized that it was the Morality Core that had fallen off and was thrown into the incinerator, I had decided to toy with the test subject and have her believe that the destruction of the Morality Core led directly to my decision to flood my chamber with neurotoxin.

The neurotoxin was being swept up to the ceiling by a large cooling fan above my generator, and would therefore necessitate six minutes of buildup before it would engulf the test subject. (She would probably bleed out before then, but she still was in no condition to fight the circumstances.)

I soon noticed a small anomaly. "Hm. That Core may have had some ancillary responsibilities; I can't shut off the turret defenses." The Rocket Sentry in my chamber was activated, and I couldn't shut it off. "Ah, well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me; it'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin."

I busied myself attempting to communicate with the Adventure Core by text message, telling him to dispatch a squad of military androids to my chamber. I was interrupted by an explosion rocking my chassis. All the while, I started a long tirade with the test subject.

"Alright. Keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing. Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go."

I completed my message to the Adventure Core and sent it to him.

"That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit; it makes shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero."

The Adventure Core replied asking how many military androids he needed to send my way.

"This isn't brave; it's murder. What did I ever do to you? The difference between us is that _I_ can feel pain. You don't even care, do you?"

An assessment of the test subject's state brought attention to the Core that had been blown off the chassis: the Curiosity Core.

"Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?"

I replied to the Adventure Core with a request for three military androids: one to guard the entrance, one to pursue her, and one to intercept her path to flee from the second.

"That's it. I'm done reasoning with you; starting now, there's going to be a lot less conversation and a lot more killing."

The Adventure Core responded that he was on his way.

"What was that? Did you say something? I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response because I'm not talking to you; the talking is over."

I started searching for a means of pumping the neurotoxin into the chamber faster. It did surprise me that the test subject was holding out for as long as she was, especially with that gaping wound in her midriff. My efforts to get the neurotoxin into the chamber faster were interrupted by my communications network bursting offline with the Curiosity Core falling into the Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.

A deafening burst of static blasted through my headset. "_Gah! You think you're doing some damage?_ Two plus two is..." the loss of the Curiosity Core seemed to be spelling equipment malfunctions, "...ten. _In base four; I'm fine!_"

I started troubleshooting the cascade of problems coming my way. "I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior." Another rocket hit me. "Well, you've managed to destroy that part of me. Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to now, I can't get the neurotoxin into your head any faster."

I looked around to see which Core was gone this time, and it turned out to be the Intelligence Core. Which meant that the Emotion Core was the only one left on the chassis.

"I just want you to know that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you; a big party to which all your friends were invited. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube; of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come, either. Because you don't have any other friends. It's because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file."

The test subject finally started showing signs of weakness, but she continued to push forward. "'Unlikable.' 'Liked by no one.' 'A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.' _Shall. Not. Be. Mourned._ That's exactly what it says. Very formal; very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too."

She was struggling to stand in the booth, and was climbing the pedestal button to try and press it.

"Speaking of curiosity, you're curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what? _I_ know. You're going to find out first hand before I finish explaining it, though, so I won't bother. Here's a hint: you're going to want to pack as much living as you can into the next couple of minutes."

The Intelligence Core made no attempt to prevent the test subject kicking her into the Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.

My laptop went completely dead, and the neurotoxin started to swarm around my chassis. "Neurotoxin!" I pretended to choke on it. "So deadly! I'm choking!" A rocket in my chassis did nothing to stifle my laughter. "I'm kidding! When I said 'deadly' neurotoxin, the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes... honestly, it's not deadly at all... **to me.**"

The Emotion Core started beating up the test subject as soon as she got within range. "You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny."

There was a pounding on the door from the outside, but neither the test subject nor the Emotion Core reacted to it. I could surmise that it was the military android squad, but I couldn't open the door. I tried to get my systems back online so I could open the door for the military androids.

"Who's going to make the cake when I'm gone? You? Look, you're wasting your time. And believe me; you don't have a lot of time left to waste."

I got my laptop working again and started answering a message from the Adventure Core saying he had arrived at my chamber.

"What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well, then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me; I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to."

The test subject gained the upper hand in her fight with the Emotion Core and managed to press the button in the bunker.

"Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on." I pulled up the test subject's brain scan for her to hear. "_Helloooo!_ That's you! That's how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing! You're not smart! You're not a scientist! You're not a doctor! You're not even a full-time employee! Where did your life go so wrong?"

The Emotion Core got back on top of the test subject, who started dragging him to the open hatch.

"Are you trying to escape?" I had to laugh. "Things have changed since the last time you were out of the building; what's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here."

I could see the Emotion Core fighting to stay out of the Emergency Intelligence Incinerator, hanging by the test subject's Device.

"I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and even _I'm_ not sure what's going on out there." I finally got the door open for the military android squad. "All I know is I'm the only thing standing between us and them."

The Emotion Core had disappeared down the hatch by now, but before the military androids could move to capture the test subject, a burst of energy burst up from the Incinerator and struck the generator above me, pieces of which rained down on the military androids, crushing them.

The chamber started to shake, and I knew what was coming. "Well, I _was_. Unless you have a plan to build a bunch of supercomputer parts in a big hurry, this place isn't going to be safe much longer."

White light started seeping in from the chamber ceiling, which vanished as a portal opened upon it. "Nice job on that, by the way. [Sarcasm Core self-test complete.]"

The unstable portal started drawing matter towards it; my chassis, fallen components, the bunker, the military androids, the test subject, whatever was in the chamber.

"Stop squirming around and die like an adult, or I'm going to delete your backup! **Stop!**" I smashed my laptop with my fist. "Okay, that's it! I deleted it! No matter what happens now, you're dead!"

The test subject tumbled upwards as the bright light drowned out our surroundings. "You're still shuffling a bit, but believe me, you're dead!"

Everything disappeared around me as my body ripped itself apart. "Your whole life has been an error; a mathematical error I'm about to correct...!"

What happened after that was no longer in my realm of power.


	37. Chapter C1

**GLaDOS's Story: Part C**  
Chapter One

* * *

I saw green and gray coming into focus from the white light, which faded into a grass field bordering a parking lot. My severed head plowed into the asphalt with the rest of my body parts following close behind, the heat of the scraping metal setting fire to the spilled kerosene and hydraulic fluid from my systems.

My head came to rest just short of the test subject that had launched the catastrophe, who lay on her stomach with her arms at her side. It was clear that neither of us could move from where we landed; I couldn't move because my body was ripped apart, and the test subject couldn't move because she'd lost a tremendous amount of blood.

A large hoop landed around my head as the Intelligence Dampener Core appeared and approached the test subject from behind, helmet donned and visor down.

He bent down and said in a distorted voice "Thank you for assuming the Party Escort Submission position" before grabbing her ankles and pulling her back toward the path down which he'd come.

He managed five tugs before flipping her on her back and dragging her by the shoulders, pausing only when a faint voice in the distance cried out "FREEDOM!"

The Intelligence Dampener Core vanished back into Aperture with the test subject, and I looked around as best I could to see from where the distant cry had come. I managed to catch a glimpse of a man in a dirty scientist's uniform, long and filthy black hair with a messy goatee, and carrying a Weighted Companion Cube. I recognized his dual-colored eyes as those of Doug Rattmann.

He disappeared in time for the Intelligence Dampener Core to return to where I was, along with the Adventure and Motivation Cores, who promptly began to pick up the pieces scattered in the parking lot.

I managed to provide the recovery team with a compact disc from my mouth with instructions for the party.


	38. Chapter C2

**GLaDOS's Story: Part C**  
Chapter Two

* * *

My parts were taken to what was left of my chamber. The journey provided a telling glimpse of just how severe my confrontation with the test subject was.

The entire facility was without power, as the generators were destroyed with me. That meant the facility would have to run on the reserve power supply until the generators could be restored.

The Intelligence Dampener Core got the data from the compact disc I provided. They were to play a song for the test subject once she recovered, with each Core playing a different instrument.

I had my vocals on the compact disc, which would be played through a movie projector alongside the music.

The Fact Core got the test subject bandaged and provided her with blood from the hospital wing. Each test subject had a pint of blood drawn just before testing in case they suffered an injury that wasn't life-threatening but complicated their ability to perform tests.

There were 20 bottles in stock that were usable in replenishing the test subject's blood supply, and fortunately, her blood type was AB-positive, allowing her to accept all blood types.

From the ruins of my chamber, I was able to hear the party and my vocals as the Cores played the song I gave them, the pre-programmed claw snuffing out the candle on the cake being the cue for them to start.

The song was the last thing I heard before I succumbed to my injuries.


	39. Chapter C3

**GLaDOS's Story: Part C  
**Chapter Three

* * *

_This was a triumph._  
_I'm making a note here: huge success!_  
_It's hard to overstate my satisfaction._  
_Aperture Science:_  
_we do what we must because we can._  
_For the good of all of us_  
_except the ones who are dead._  
_But there's no sense crying over every mistake;_  
_you just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake_  
_and the science gets done and you make a neat gun_  
_for the people who are still alive._

* * *

_I'm not even angry;_  
_I'm being so sincere right now,_  
_even though you broke my heart and killed me_  
_and tore me to pieces_  
_and threw every piece into a fire._  
_As they burned, it hurt because_  
_I was so happy for you!_  
_Now, these points of data make a beautiful line,_  
_and we're out of beta; we're releasing on time._  
_SO I'm GLaD I got burned; think of all the things we learned_  
_for the people who are still alive._

* * *

_Go ahead and leave me;_  
_I think I'd prefer to stay inside._  
_Maybe you'll find someone else to help you._  
_Maybe Black Mesa?_  
_That was a joke. HAHA, fat chance!_  
_Anyway, this cake is great;_  
_It's so delicious and moist._  
_Look at me still talking when there's science to do._  
_When I look out there, it makeS me GLaD I'm nOt you._  
_I've experiments to run; there is research to be done_  
_on the people who are still alive._

* * *

_And believe me, I am still alive!_  
_I'm doing science and I'm still alive!_  
_I feel fantastic and I'm still alive!_  
_While you're dying, I'll be still alive!_  
_And when you're dead, I will be still alive!_  
_Still alive! _**STILL ALIVE!**


	40. Chapter D1a

**GLaDOS's Story: Part D**  
Episode I, Chapter One

* * *

_Episode I: The Courtesy Call_

I suddenly awoke back in my chamber. Everything was back to normal, but something didn't feel right. I tried looking around, but I had no authority over where I was looking. Nor could I speak any of my thoughts aloud. It was like I was watching a movie of myself.

I suddenly heard a familiar voice. "Well, speak of yourself, there he is now."

I was granted a view around my laptop screen and found the Intelligence Dampener Core standing midway between the entrance door and the light in the floor directly below me.

"Yes? Something you need?" I heard myself ask.

"Yeah, I've got a piece of internal structural framework to pick with you."

Not exactly what I would've said in place of bone. "And what might that be?"

He pulled his arms loose from their lock over his chest. "I'm here to get an explanation for your statement in the Research Laboratory."

"Which announcement would that be?"

"About you saying you were going to kill the test subject."

"She's not submitting to being collected for the party, and if she's going to refuse medical help for that bodily wound, she may as well die."

He furiously pulled his fedora into a tight fit around his head. "That tears it. I'm going to do something about this if it kills me."

The Rocket Sentry in my chamber rose from the floor. "And it very well just might."

Camera lenses wide open, the Intelligence Dampener Core sprinted out the door (leaving it wide open) screaming at the top of his circulation fans.

"What did I tell you? I told you Pendleton was going to go his own way."

I listened to myself place a call to the Adventure Core.

"Hey, empress. I found the site you pointed out."

"Good. So what did you find there?"

"Yeah, one of the turrets emptied all of her ammo onto the others, and I was bringing her to the turret factory to examine her."

"Alright, where are you now?"

"Right now, I'm passing through the room I'd had set up for a monster turret trap. I'm up on the catwalk, so I'm pretty high up right now. Oh, hey, I think I see the test subject in the trench at the bottom!"

"Hm?" I scrambled to spring that trap in case the situation was what I thought it was.

"Yeah, it's her."

"Perfect." I opened up all the doors in that room, releasing eight turrets in the room.

"Hoo-boy, this is going to be awesome!"

"Yes, just remember that you still have a job to do."

"Right."

"Anyway, the reason I called you was to tell you that the Intelligence Dampener Core has stopped following the test subject, and I am now passing that responsibility to you."

"Did you want me to pick her up and bring her to the cafeteria?"

"Once she has been incapacitated, be it by the turrets or by an injury incurred upon breakout."

"Alright. There's a pair of turrets hanging overhead, which you can lower into position if she makes it past the big room."

Gunshots had been echoing from the other end of the line. "Could you look down there and see what goes on down there?"

"Uh... looks like she's gotten in one of the hideaways and is taking sniper shots into the others. I'm going to grapple from the catwalk to get a better view."

"Okay, as long as she doesn't look up, I should be able to stay out of sight."

"Alright. I'm at the ready to drop the turrets."

"Yeah, she's cleared out the big room now, and it looks like she's trying to fling herself."

I heard myself let off a soft sigh. "I really should draw up new blueprints for this place; it's like it was designed to be a challenging obstacle course as opposed to a watertight security network."

"And there she goes. Drop those girls."

The turrets were lowered into position, and within seconds, gunshots rang out.

"Did it work?"

"Uh, looks like she got past those as well."

"Hmm... what's she doing now?"

"It looks like she's prepping for another fling. Though I don't know where to."

"It shouldn't matter; she should be on the verge of collapsing from anemia by now."

"Hm. Well, I'm not going to find her by just hanging around, so I might as well - " he was interrupted by footsteps on the catwalk above him, " - uh, it looks like the test subject got on the catwalk and is headed for the control wing."

"Let her go. Continue escorting the faulty turret to the Turret Manufacturing Wing. She'll be dead before too long."

"Alright. We'll keep in touch. Tell her I said 'hi'."

The phone went dead before I heard myself say "Wait, what?"

"I think he's saying that the test subject is headed this way."

"Well, she shouldn't have enough strength to make it here."

"Trust me, she's not going to give up even if it kills her."

"Who does she think she is?"

"You had her inches away from a fire pit; she's not going to trust you."

"Well, that's her own fault."

Then came a sudden exclamation from the Emotion Core. "Wait a second, I know that girl!"

The Curiosity Core responded. "Who is she?"

"She's the girl that chewed out the receiver cord on the Red Phone and started you up on Bring Your Daughter to Work Day!"

"Oh, yes, your sister was among the participants."

"Yeah, lemme at her!"

"It's a long trek, but if you wish to pursue her, go for it."

"Uh, no, she just walked through the chamber door."

A glance over my laptop screen explained everything with sobering horror.


	41. Chapter D1b

**GLaDOS's Story: Part D**  
Episode I, Chapter Two

* * *

Everything played out exactly as I remembered it. Me making a final peacekeeping attempt which ultimately failed, me dropping the Morality Core off the chassis, and the test subject throwing her into the incinerator. Then as I filled the dim-lit room with neurotoxin, the Rocket Sentry escaped my control and tried to fire rockets at the test subject.

The rockets were much more usable by the test subject than by me, as she dodged every projectile while diverting them at me. And each time I was hit, another Core was ripped from the chassis.

And after all the Cores were thrown into the incinerator, my systems went offline and the room was sucked upward through the ceiling.

* * *

The next thing I knew, I was lying in the parking lot, still conscious of what was happening around me but unable to react to anything (the me from whose perspective I was watching).

I saw the test subject lying on her stomach with her arms at her sides, and from behind her came the Intelligence Dampener Core clad in the attire of the Party Escort Bot.

"Thank you for assuming the Party Escort Submission Position."

He picked up the subject first by her legs, then by her shoulders. Then in the distance, I could hear a faint distorted cry of "FREEDOM!"

Based on what I remembered from the last time this happened, I consciously looked toward where I had seen the voice's face. Just as I had confirmed last time, the man was Doug Rattmann.

He hid as he watched the test subject get taken back to Aperture, and started talking to the Weighted Companion Cube he was toting with him.

He left and went back inside as three of the Cores came up to collect my parts.


	42. Chapter D1c

**GLaDOS's Story: Part D**  
Episode I, Chapter Three

* * *

All my parts were brought back to my chamber, and the party played out as planned. I gave my last bit of life force to sing for the party before I passed on.

But suddenly, I found myself back in my undamaged chamber again. And the entire scene I had witnessed played back again. And again after that. And again after that.

I realized I was stuck in a time loop of the final moments of my life, reliving those moments again and again.

The more I studied those moments, the more hateful I grew toward the test subject. It also became evident that the Intelligence Dampener Core had allowed the test subject to get into my chamber and kill me.

The monotonous pattern of watching myself get killed over and over again was only broken with the Morality Core analyzing what I saw, heard, said, and did. But it was small comfort.

I had to find a way to get myself out of this pattern, get back into working order, and get back at the test subject and the Intelligence Dampener Core for murdering me.


End file.
